I’m taking a “Psychology and Sociology of Sports” course this semester, and for this course my professor has assigned us to read the book “What Made Maddy Run” written by ESPN commentator, Kate Fagan.
A little background information about the novel: It is about a college freshman student athlete named Madison Holleran. Maddy ran track for University of Pennsylvania, but she was struggling immensely with the transition from high school to college, and moving away from home for the first time. A series of events happened to Madison during her first semester at Penn which ultimately led her to suicide on Jan. 17, 2014.
She was just 19-years-old.
At the end of her first semester at Penn she kept telling her parents and friends that she wanted transfer schools. But her friends and parents kept telling Madison that she needed to finish out her year at Penn, maybe things would be better during the second semester. They did not realize she was fighting such dark demons.
I can relate to this book is so many ways. I was Madison during my first year of college at the University of Louisville.
UofL was my dream school coming out of high school. Both of my parents were born and raised in Louisville, a lot of my family still lived in Louisville, when I took a campus tour at UofL I just knew in my heart that is where I needed to be. Much like Madison felt about the University of Pennsylvania.
In the novel it talks about how easily academics, friends and happiness came to Madison while she was in high school, but once she got to college those things did not come easily to her anymore. The exact same thing happened to me.
I would isolate myself in my dorm. I would not make an effort to make any new friends. Some days I would not even eat because I had no appetite. I convinced myself that I was 100% alone. That was the lowest I had ever felt in my entire life. I knew it was not normal to feel the way that I did.
Luckily I transferred from UofL and moved back home before things took a turn for the worst. I got the help that I needed, and I am now the happiest I have ever been.
Throughout my whole experience, and throughout reading this book about Madison Holleran’s experience, I want anyone who is reading this that may be struggling like I was, or like Madison did, I want them to know that it is okay to transfer from your self-entitled “dream school.” It is okay to ask for help, and it is okay to start over at another school. No one is going to blame you for doing what is best for you.
Things will get better.
It is okay to struggle.
It is okay to ask for help.
And it is okay to transfer from your “dream school.”
It may end up being the best thing that has ever happened to you.
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