Disclaimer- Due to the hypersensitive politically correct world filled with delicate snowflakes we live in, I must disclaim that this is a light hearted article which is not intended to and should not offend GAA merchandise wearers or otherwise. All the opinions given in this article are of a witty nature. Life doesn’t have to always be so serious. No GAA attire wearers were damaged in the making of this article.
We either are them or they hold a very dear place in our heart. The infamous men who celebrate their Irish existence by wearing GAA merchandise no matter the occasion. These men were probably born looking like a county minor, grew up to be one and will die being one at heart. Perhaps the modern day substitute for the suit and tie is the striped pants and county half zip.
As a woman, it can be hard to understand the dedication to this image that many men must maintain. I sit in my lecture surrounded by a herd of such men. I don’t feel my skinny jeans and Hollister hoodie are adequate anymore and it is intimidating.I wonder if they have some sort of academic advantage over me as well as socially because of how they dress. Maybe the three stripes on the side of each represent some sort of Holy Trinity of the GAA- the pitch, the ball, the goalpost.
I spoke to puppy petting and 2 litre bottle of RiverRock water drinker Jonathan Herlihy, who also enjoys long walks on the beach and Tuesday evenings in the gym- “I can’t give away many details about this life path, we’re sworn to oath before we enter and commit to being part of the clan. In general, I feel really attacked about how I dress. People are always criticising me for wearing GAA merchandise 24/7, but it’s just a way of life.
“Wake up, county minor. Eat, county minor. Study, county minor. Sleep, county minor. It’s my religion and my values. I’m well past the age of being a county minor but I’ll never lose the feeling. The women love it really though; every father would love me, I love me. I just wish people realised that behind that club crest on our half zips, we have big hearts.”
After my touching interview with Mr. Herlihy, I would like to start a Justice for Jonathan campaign for the discrimination against GAA merchandise wearing men. This aspect of these men will most likely forever remain a mystery but they’re great men all the same.