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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UMKC chapter.

President-Elect Joe Biden has declared victory for the 2020 presidential election and while many people are upset with the outcome of the election, we can all agree that the campaign season has been absolutely exhausting. Political ads were unavoidable, social media comment sections were (and still are) angrier than ever and President Trump starting lawsuits and refusing to concede is only stirring up more frustrations. For a lot of us, this election has given us the opportunity to have a lot of difficult conversations with friends and family, but it’s especially challenging to take part in political discourse with the people we love because we don’t want to fight. Sometimes these conversations are necessary.  This is my advice for having a civil political discussion.

Know that there’s a time and a place.

Work, parties, social media and maybe even your family dinner are all places you might want to avoid talking about politics. While it’s obvious why you shouldn’t get into a debate at work or at a party, I think social media can sometimes be an unproductive space to have a conversation, especially with strangers. When you can’t see the person you’re talking to, it’s easier to say things that you normally wouldn’t, and a lot of online conversations turn nasty. I’m not saying you should never disagree with someone online, because I’ve had a lot of great conversations where people have made arguments that I hadn’t thought of before, or I was able to give someone else a new perspective. However, I just think it’s important to be aware of the fact that not every social media post should be seen as an opportunity to call someone out. Family dinners might be a place for you to avoid having a political discussion if a lot of your family members have different political ideologies. A one-on-one conversation is likely to be more productive and will make your next family gathering a lot less awkward.

Do your research and don’t be afraid to admit when you don’t know the answer.

The best way to keep a conversation civil is to come prepared with the facts. Do your research and look at information from multiple reputable sources. A good starting point is congress.gov and pewresearch.org. When you don’t have enough information on a subject or you don’t know the answer to a question, it’s okay to admit that you don’t know. There’s no point in arguing about something if one person isn’t fully informed. 

Don’t expect to change their mind.

Starting a conversation with the expectation that you’re going to change someone’s mind closes you off from truly listening. Our political beliefs are deeply rooted in our core values and sometimes how we were raised, which means it takes a lot to shift how we view the world and what we believe to be true. Starting a conversation with the understanding that we all see the world differently will help combat the frustration you might feel when you have a disagreement. A political conversation should be an exchanging of information, ideas and perspectives rather than forcing someone to agree with you. 

America has become so polarized over the past few years and tension is high for everyone, but I want to encourage you to be kind to others. I truly believe that the most important conversations and growth come from calm, thoughtful conversations rather than intense, loud arguments. Good luck. 

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