Sharing your living space with someone else can be a challenge no matter how well you and your roommate or roommates get along. Even if you start the year with high hopes and a seemingly solid and promising friendship, things can easily go wrong as time goes on and you really get to know each other. There are several types of bad roommates, but perhaps the most common is the Passive Aggressive roommate.
If you have Yik Yak, you’ve seen the angry posts on the app complaining about how someone’s roommate “doesn’t wash their dishes” or “is always bringing guys over,” and it makes you wonder, did that person actually talk to their roommate about the problem? In most cases, the answer is probably no. Confrontation can be awkward and uncomfortable, especially when you don’t feel like you’re very close to someone. You don’t know how they’re going to react, and that can be a little scary; however, talking to your roommate about a problem you have with them is like ripping off a Band-Aid. It’ll be less painful if you just get it over with. The longer you wait, expecting your roommate to read your mind (or your sticky notes), the more your relationship will deteriorate.
According to Psychology Today, some of the warning signs of passive aggression include the silent treatment, sulking and withdrawal, and gossiping. If you’re reading that and realizing you might be the passive aggressive roommate, don’t fret. Your roommate will respect and trust you so much more if you choose to be honest with and talk to her about any concerns you’ve been having.
If you’re on the other end and your roommate is beginning to show passive aggressive behavior, the last thing you should do is engage in the same behavior as a response. Here are a few tips on how to respond.
- Confront her and ask her what’s wrong
- Let her know that you won’t be mad if she will just tell you what’s bothering her.
- With the help of open communication and trust, you will be able to build a strong relationship with your roommates
For one, this will give you many lessons on how to manage relationships in all areas of your life. Along with that, if you continue to be there to listen to one another and are willing to compromise with each other, you could be building the foundation of a lifelong friendship. Don’t let the chance for a beautiful friendship pass you by all because you were too scared to tell your roommate to her face that she needs to wash her dishes.