“I won’t waste my breath if it’s not for love.”
I cry as I listen to these lyrics over and over again by one of my favorite worship bands. Love is so powerful and such a crucial aspect of our lives. Unfortunately, it is what the world lacks now. I witness this hurt others feel every single day and it crushes me. I see this hurt and always have this sudden desire/ passion to give love to everyone.
I desperately want to make others feel important, worthy, confident, and motivated. Seriously, my list could go on and on om how I want to give inspiration to others, but how can I do that when I don’t show love to my own self? If I am being honest, I consider myself a hypocrite.
For many years, I have struggled with many different things in my life. There have been plenty of times, even now, where I look in the mirror and tear up because I wish my body was slimmer, my face was prettier. Basically, I want to be someone completely different. There have been plenty of nights where I have cried myself to sleep, praying my insecurities would go away and I could just truly be happy with myself.
Day by day, I continue to let my ongoing anxiety and fears control me. I have been so hurt in the past that I let it negatively affect my relationships, academics, my faith in Jesus; this is another list that could go on. I base my self worth off of what people think of me and I hide my true self, thinking if I was different people would accept me and love me more. Then, I could feel good about myself.
If I am not content with myself, how can I tell others to be? If I can’t accept myself for who I truly am, how can I tell others to as well? I can’t and I will not. I should not. Do you see where am I getting at?
I want to help and do good for people, but it’s about time I start doing some good for myself, too. I don’t ever want to waste my breath if it’s not for love.