We’ve all been there, and if not you deserve a medal. Kudos to you. We think everyone in the room knows how awkward we really are! Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who thinks their social awkwardness is the reason for the destruction of the world. Keep doing you, you’re killin’ it.
Here is what is most likely going on in your head during your most uncomfortable moments.
Well good thing I don’t know a single person here. Where did my friends go? This is great. They all know I can’t talk to strangers. They obviously left me on purpose. They probably all secretly hate me. They suck. I should probably try not to look so awkward staring at a huge crowd of people.
Maybe, I should try dancing? Dancing makes you social, right? I actually like this song. Okay, I should probably stop doing that; I am not Miley Cyrus. How does that girl even move like that? Okay, well I can do that. Okay, no, no, I can’t do that. People can see what I’m doing, and now I am just making a fool of myself. People are starting to stare. Well, now I can’t just stand here again. I just look lost.
Okay, go find your friends. Nope, not that way, I don’t want to interrupt that. How is that even- do they not know they are in public? Where are his hands? Oh wow, found them. All right, stop staring. Get back to finding my friends.
Is that the weird guy in my English class? Oh, yep, that’s him. How do I avoid- well okay, that was a fail. “Hayyyy”- why did I just say “hey” like that, now he’s going to think I’m going to actually want to make human contact with him.
Ew, gross. What is that growing out of his ear? Ew. He definitely sees me staring at that thing. Is that a mole? Seriously, Stop, stop, STOP. Did your mother teach you any manners? End the conversation, NOW. Nod your head, and walk away. Wait, no that won’t work, maybe say you have to pee? No, that’s weird, he doesn’t need to know that.
OKAY, that is my waist and why are you touching it. NO-I am NOT dancing with you. Okay fine, maybe I am- but only because I am nice. Okay, I am done being nice now. Stop, drop and roll? I wonder if he think’s he’s a good dancer? YES, finally Carla. Yes, I am FREE! Now I should run before he realizes where I went. Too late, I have been found. What happened to the “I have to pee” excuse being weird? Well, I guess it worked.
Alright, moving on. I’m pretty sure I know that girl. Maybe I should say hi. Just kidding, she has no idea who I am. I really need to work on that smiling thing. Oh, well he’s cute. I like his hair. I wonder if he conditions? He definitely surfs. That’s hot. Now he noticed my obsessive staring. I really have to work on that.
Wait, is he actually walking towards me? Okay, think fast, do I wave? Maybe some eyes. Yes, give him the eyes, they always work. Eyes, were not a good idea, he probably thinks I just have something in my eye. He is probably just being nice because he feels bad for me. Well, at least that means he’s a nice guy, for once. Try waving. Wait, no wave back? This is awkward, and the prize goes to the girl behind me.
I am ready to go. I feel my awkwardness radiating across the room. Everyone here is acting like I have the plague and I wouldn’t want anyone to catch it. Now, I should probably leave with the small amount of dignity I have left.