Writer Wednesday: Dear Collegiette,

Happy Wednesday, collegiettes!

This week, staff writer Techeira has a super relatable experience that she wanted to share with you, and some takeawys that you might deem useful! 

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Dear Collegiettes, 

So, I fell that we all share the same problems when looking for a significant other. 

Whenever we find someone that we think we may click with, who may be close to being “the one”, he always seems to end up being the complete wrong one. 

Sometimes we get that feeling when we first start talking to the person that they may not be exactly what we’re interested, but sometimes the off-putting qualities sneak up on you. 

Personally, I just experienced a situation like this.

I was supposed to have a date this past weekend with a guy I met during the summer. We tried to make plans for the weekend but nothing was solid. When the “date day” came, I didn’t geta text message or phone call all day. Essentially, the guy was blowing me off. I didn’t think much of it, mostly because we had only met once and been talking ever since– in a sense, this was nothing short of a casual hangout. Still, it kind of irked me that all communication ceased.

Later that day, he finally texted back. As it turns out, the reason he decided not to hangout that Saturday was because didn’t want to “just eat,” but do something else as well. Mind you, through the whole last week I had been throwing out ideas as to what we could possibly do but the majority of the answers that I got to an suggestions were just, “IDK. Anything is good with me.”

What I came to realize was that this guy was in it for the games. So, here comes the first takeaway of my experience: 

If a person is legitimately into you, they will make a plan to see you.

There’s being casual when it comes to making plans, and then there is being lazy. Avoid lazy at all costs. 

I explained to my friends what had happened between myself and this guy, along with other problems that we had, and they all said the same thing to me: “Techi, stop talking to him.” Eventually, I did. There were many indications that this guy wasn’t going to be much of a maatch for me. There was his lying (red flag number one), his crazy jealous tendencies, even though we’d never established any sort of relationship (red flag number two), and then his genuine disinterest in anything that involved work (three strikes, you’re out). The biggest thing though, and here comes the second takeaway, was that my friends disliked him. So:

If none of your friends like your potential new flame, be cautious. 

This especially goes for if all of your friends ntoice the same “off” thing about them. Sometimes being in the bubble of a new relationship can cause you to have blinders, which stops you from seeing things that may be a problem later on. Your friends have your best interest at heart, so at least consider their input when it comes with sincerity. 

Lastly, 

Don’t lower your standards of what you want in a guy.

People might say you are too arrogant to live by a motto such as this when it comes to dating. But, look at it this way: you know what makes you happy when it comes to relationships, so don’t settle for this that simply “don’t make you upset.”  Even if you aren’t trying to be in anything exclusive right now, still make sure you keep your heels, head, and standards high.

HCXO,Techeira

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