Recently, I got news no one ever wants to hear. It is an unavoidable event that is extremely challenging to deal with when having to balance school, work and my relationships. Someone close to me passed away over winter break and right when everything was starting to feel better, I got another call. Someone else I loved dearly had passed. Hearing this news not only during the semester but before my classes, threw me off of my everyday routines. I know what it’s like to be thrown curve balls and wanted to share my insight on what has helped me during this difficult time.
One thing I have found peace in is my friendships. There’s no time and place for a death to happen, however, confiding in those who can share the experience is super helpful. I was able to call all my friends and catch up about what had happened along with updating each other on how life had been recently. Talking it all out with my friends has been a huge relief. I was able to understand that death can create blessings as well. I learned that no matter how hard things can get, it is amazing to be surrounded by others who can guide you in conversations and healing. Having those friends around who allow you to talk and listen is so helpful! Friends, family and even a trusted adult are all great outlets I have been able to use throughout dealing with this.
Something else that has also helped me manage this throughout the semester is going on walks. Recently, the weather has been a lot nicer which has helped me mentally tackle this easier. I have started to walk home after class instead of taking the buses. I usually try to call a friend and talk things out on my walk home, or just listening to my favorite tunes has been a great addition. Getting active is a great release.
Finding and having little successes to cheer me up has also been a huge help. It’s hard to find things to look forward to when everything seems to connect somehow back to the passing of my loved one. Every day I try to find small victories. Even as small as finishing an assignment or getting ice cream with my friends, small victories can be found when you take things step by step. Finding the small things in life and keeping those memories alive is so important.
Being in a school atmosphere and getting that news caused a lot of complications. I did not know how to handle school and my emotions all at the same time. There were some classes that I was able to go to and use as a distraction. While others, at the time, I did not have the motivation to go to. Reaching out to teachers and explaining I needed time off on certain days for my mental health allowed me to prioritize my health. All my teachers were extremely understanding and it helped relieve some guilt I had about not attending mandatory classes.
The last thing I’ve found helpful is to just feel. I am an extremely emotional person and I can tell that if I were to bottle up these emotions I would be doing myself a disservice. I think being able to express my emotions and feel what ever needs to be felt has been a weight lifted off my shoulders. I cry a lot, but that’s okay. It’s necessary.
Dealing with a curve ball while balancing all other aspects of life was difficult. I’m glad I was able to reach out to loved ones throughout processing and allowed myself to take the time I needed for the healing journey.