I know you’ve heard the stereotype: French hate Americans, they think we are IGNORANT. But I have to say, it’s really not true! As long as you give their language a shot and abide by their rules they will be kind and try to help you out. Well, unfortunately for us Americans I seem to have horribly, horribly enforced that stereotype. And for that, I apologize. Here’s my story:
One snowy night in London, my friends and I decided to trek to a nearby pub to have some drinks with the locals. We were all having a great time taking flaming shots with an eager to please Italian couple (they were only so eager because as long as we kept buying them shots, they were going to take them with us). Well, as the night progressed I noticed a guy from across the bar who kept making eyes at me. And he was cute. He eventually sauntered over and introduced himself as Teo, and he had moved to London from France.
A drink or two later he offered to take me and my friends, along with his equally cute French friend, to another bar. Of course there was no hesitation on our end, so we set out. Once we got there Teo bought us a bottle of red wine. How suave. We were having a splendid time; we laughed and mocked each other’s accents, Teo could actually do a fairly decent southern accent. But then the two men decided they needed to go to the bathroom. I thought that was funny because up until this point, I thought only American girls traveled in packs to the restroom.
My friends and I decided it was getting late and we should head back. But who would tell the friendly French men? I volunteered, I didn’t mind. When they finally came back they cracked a joke, we laughed again and I decided to break the news. “Hey, it was really nice to meet you guys but we have to get going! Thank you for the drinks!” …. Is what I should have said. Instead, I said this,
“Well guys, we’re actually trying to ditch you right now, so we’re going to go.”
Silence. And I’ll bet you’ve never heard actual silence in a bar before. It just slipped out! I didn’t mean it like that. I’m a sarcastic person! But even my friends who knew my personality well looked horrified as they had extremely wide eyes and perfect “Os” etched into their mouths.
Damage control.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I was trying to be funny but it just came out…” I didn’t need to finish my sentence because Teo’s friend did it for me.
“Bitchy.”
Yeah, bitchy is pretty accurate. I apologized again, thanked them for their drinks and left with my tail between my legs. So moral of the story, just don’t be me. And the French will like you.
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