If you’re a college student, one of the most common questions that you will probably be asked is what your major is. For me and a lot of fellow students though, there is usually a universal response to my answer, which entails a minor look of confusion and then some questions like “Oh, so what are you going to do with that after college?” and “Are you going to find a job that pays well with that major?”, and my personal favorite “Have you ever thought about changing majors?”. I don’t think that the people who are asking understand that those are some pretty rude questions, most of the time we are already stressed about the answers and they usually have no right to interject their opinions into what I’ve decided to do with my life. It puts us in a very uncomfortable position that comes up a lot more than you would think.
I used to think that this was a universal thing that all students dealt with. Basically every single adult that I would talk to, no matter where I am or whether I knew them or not, would express the same kind of responses to me, so I just overall assumed that it was just a typical “older and wiser adult thing” to ask college students. Over some time though, I have come to figure it out that that’s not the case at all. In my freshman year, I came in as an undecided COLA student who was really struggling to have any kind of idea what I wanted to study or do for a career. The stress of always thinking about that was bad enough as is, but there have been multiple times that I’ve simply been laughed at for being undeclared, for being a Liberal Arts student, and for being both at the same time. People would try to dismiss my education, saying that I was paying a lot of money to simply not know what I was doing.
Obviously, that didn’t feel great, and I would struggle through every single one of those conversations by trying to defend myself but not come off as rude. People young and old asked me these questions though, and I started to question why I was even at college if I didn’t have a plan in place for the future. Declaring would be the only thing to give me purpose as a student to a lot of people, otherwise, I was just being a lazy person with no drive.
I stuck it out, realized that there are plenty of people who don’t know what they’re doing with their lives yet and I shouldn’t be embarrassed out of an education because of it. So I worked hard, tried a bunch of different classes that seemed interesting, and fell in love with two majors that I’m now declared in. Second semester freshman year I declared as a Sociology major, and first semester sophomore year I declared a double major with Women and Gender Studies. These are both majors that I am extremely passionate about and look forward to continue learning about.
So then I thought I was set! No more rude questions or jokes about how I was a “lost cause” because I didn’t have any educational passions. I was finally confident in my path here for once and felt that I knew my place. Sadly, I could not have been more wrong, because there is still an even larger group of people who now question the majors themselves, and love to insert their opinions about my passions.
Trying to explain to someone what you’re passionate about it always a bit hard because you’re just not sure how to express how interesting you think it is. It is a different kind of disappointment though when someone is not impressed with what you are sharing with them and feels free to tell you that. The first time I came home after I declared as a Sociology major, I was at a dinner party with my mom’s friends. I could not have been more excited to explain my major instead of saying that I didn’t know. But almost every single adult I talked to was less than enthusiastic and felt as if they had the right to tell me what I was doing wrong. The questions that I used to deal with are still there, just more specific and direct because I know for certain what I want to do. For any person that feels like they can question the purpose or knowledge of my major, my life is simply something for them to look onto to and comment on, most of the time having no knowledge about why I love what I study or any kind of plan I have for the future.
And the thing is, I don’t need to have a plan yet. I am 19 years old with a decent chunk of my college education left to go. But nobody, no matter what age or stage of their education, should be required to list their life goals and plans with some random adult who doesn’t really care in the long run. It should not matter to someone else how much money I’m going to make, how I’m going to find a job, what I want to do with the rest of my life, and I am starting to learn that I don’t owe it to anyone that I don’t want to discuss it with. There will always be people who will look down on certain areas of study, and it just turns out that that the ones that aren’t science or money-focused are the ones facing the most scrutiny from outsiders.
So my advice to anyone that also has these experiences is to find the confidence within yourself to defend yourself to others but to shrug off their opinions because they ultimately don’t matter. The life that you are navigating is solely your own. If you feel comfortable, tell people who question you how their comments can be perceived because that could open their eyes. And for everyone, just stop being nosey about other people’s passions. If they love what they do, support them and encourage them instead of questioning them.