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Why You Should Never say “If He Hits You, He Just Likes You” To A Child

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UNH chapter.

It’s an age-old stigma, taught by many generations, that if a boy hits you in Kindergarten, he probably just likes you.  I remember being told that multiple times by teachers, parents and friends.  It wasn’t until I was older that I realized just how messed up it was.  

Society likes to tell women that they are worthless. That we, as a gender are disposable pieces of property, whose only purpose is to be owned by a man.

Okay, that was a little dramatic.  The world is getting better in its misogynistic ways, but there is still a very long way to go.  

One of the biggest issues today is how we engrain this idea of misogyny in women, before they even hit puberty.  We tell them that if a boy hits you, it’s just a crush, and to smile and ignore it.

Yet, when a grown man hits a woman, it’s domestic abuse.  Where is the line? When does it become unacceptable for people to resort to violence? And why are we encouraging it in childhood, but not adulthood?

The truth is, domestic violence is learned from somewhere.  When we say that violence is a proper way to express love, we not only teach the perpetrators that it is okay, we teach the victims to accept their abuse.  

Children are extremely impressionable, and, though it may seem innocent, they will begin to believe that being hit or taunted means someone likes you, and will be more likely to stay in an abusive relationship later in life, as they think it is appropriate.

Domestic violence is unacceptable, yet 1 out of 4 women will experience it in their lifetime. People keep saying it’s due to mental illness, which may be true in some cases, but I feel as though it is time to take the credit for some of this injustice.  

We, as a society, are not raising all of our children to be respectful in relationships.  We teach people that they need partners to survive, that the main goal of life is marriage, and that we will be happiest when in a relationship.  But, more than that, we teach children to accept and ignore signs of violence in relationships.  We teach them to be a part of abuse, and to stay silent.  

Never underestimate the power of your words.  What you say, though may be completely innocent, actually has a huge effect on the future of these kids.  

So be careful what you say, and never teach a child that abuse is a sign of love.  The world will be a better place that way.  

This is the general account for the University of New Hampshire chapter of Her Campus! HCXO!