I thought that by the age of 22 I would already have this area of my life figured out, but (surprise!) as it turns out I’m still learning and growing – what a concept. These past couple of weeks have revealed a lot about the company that I keep and the relationship that I desire to have with myself. I have come to the conclusion that I owe it to myself not to spend all of my time around toxic people and then expect to grow into the person that I know I can be. It’s not only counterproductive but abusive to oneself, and although this may seem like common sense, there is still that weird thing where our actions don’t exactly align with what we know to be true (hello, somebody?). Whether we’re in denial or simply lack the courage to make the proper adjustments, we are doing ourselves a vast disservice by ignoring our gut feeling just to fill a void. We owe it to ourselves to stop settling.
Here are few signs that you may be in a toxic friendship:
1.) Your spirit feels troubled whenever you’re around that person.
You can’t quite put your finger on it, but there’s something about this person(s) that makes you feel uneasy at times. If that’s the case, then you may just need to get like Titus and keep it moving:
2.) You feel like you have to do away with certain parts of yourself in order to be accepted.
If you don’t feel liberated enough to be yourself, unapologetically, then it’s time to throw the whole crew away and find friends that will accept you exactly as you are.
3. You don’t feel fully supported.
4. Your conversations sound shady and competitive.
Sometimes, the sentiments we express “jokingly” can put a spotlight on what’s in our hearts. If your friend can’t ever seem to find anything nice to say without somehow downplaying you or drawing negative comparisons, they might just be an undercover hater.
Now, what I like about energy is that it’s not only telling, but goes hand-in-hand with relationships. I’m speaking from the standpoint of bad company affecting our energy, but our energy could also be attracting people we don’t need in our lives. If you’re unsure of the root cause, then in the wise words of the modern sage, Sean Michael Leonard Anderson, “Sometimes you might have to separate yourself in order to connect the dots.”
Life is too short to be forcing unhealthy relationships out of loneliness. Protect your peace and flourish, sis.