Take it from me, being single doesn’t have to be about self-loathing and wondering why you can’t find a person to love you, it can actually be ridiculously refreshing. Let me give you a little backstory.
In high school, I was with a guy for 3 years, so as you can imagine things got pretty serious. We ended up having a messy breakup that sent me into this downward spiral where I tried to fill the emptiness with, honestly, just anyone at all. I was single for about 6 months and then dated someone else for 2 months, turned right around and dated another for a year and a half. That was my most recent relationship. I broke up with him in August because for the first time in my life, I felt like it was time for me to do something for myself, it was time for me to be me without having someone to rely on and hold me up 24/7. I decided it was time for me to focus on myself and my aspirations and what I want in life, and that’s okay. Although it’s only been about 3 or 4 months, I’ve never felt more confident, I’ve never felt more content and secure in who I am, and I’ve never felt stronger or more independent.
Don’t get me wrong, relationships are wonderful, but taking some time to “do you” is EXTREMELY important. It’s healthy. How will you ever know what you want and who you are if someone is always right there to pick you back up and define your worth for you? Sometimes allowing yourself to fail and be a mess is the best thing you can do for yourself. It forces you to learn how to bounce back up and be okay, all on your own.
Being single enables you to put all of your focus towards your work, which can be incredibly rewarding. It encourages you to develop a strong sense of self, allows you to engage and build richer relationships with the people around you, and the stresses of money and responsibility are lessened. Trust me, having all this freedom to be who you are and do what you want with no restrictions is about as refreshing as it gets.
With all of that being said, understand that I’m not trying to tell you to break up with your significant other right away! My point is this: If you’re feeling like you need time to “do you” and figure out who you are on your own, THAT’S OKAY. It’s okay to want to grow as an individual before getting into a relationship and trying to grow as a couple. It’s okay to not know what you want or who you are yet. That’s the glory of college, we don’t have to have it all figured out.
It’s important to remember that nobody knows what you need better than you. Sometimes, you just have to put yourself first and make the decisions that are best for YOU.