Here we are facing what folks are calling “the new normal.” Before the impact of COVID-19, we were all working, studying, hanging out with family, going out with friends, and just living our lives as we chose. Then, boom, it was all taken away from us in a matter of weeks and days due to the protection of our health. All of our lives across the world have been impacted in a way that anyone could never have predicted, not even The Simpsons. But here we are, in quarantine so we can get back to living our lives outside of the house.
Personally, the pandemic has taken all kinds of tolls on me. Weeks before we were forced to quarantine, I was finally getting into my routine with the balance of school, work, and self-care. In the midst of this, I was beginning to evolve as a Christian. During the month of February, I accepted my calling to full-time ministry, and also rededicated my life to Christ and got baptized. Let me tell you, I was unstoppable. No one could come or say anything in between the work I knew God was calling me to. I have waited years for this–literally. Many ups and downs and a lot of frustration and doubt on who I was being called to be. I would’ve never seen what we’re living now coming. If you would’ve told me during that time that we would be going through a pandemic, classes would be online, I wouldn’t be able to work, and I would be stuck outside of my bubble for 2+ months, I would’ve told you that there was power in the tongue, and allow me to rebuke all that negativity out of you, in this very moment. But yet I say again, here we are living the new normal.
I remember expressing to my loved ones, “wow I was spiritually doing good, now this?” I was feeling confused, but was accepting because I had “faith over fear.” I wasn’t worrying and I knew that this too shall come to pass, but when Trump added an extra 30 days of being quarantined, those feelings suddenly went away.
Side note: the enemy has his way to plant negative thoughts into your head, to draw you further away from God.
Might I say, the enemy had me where he had been trying to get me all along. I was doubting my calling, irritated all the time, going crazy mentally, questioning myself on how am I supposed to be the encourager when I can’t even encourage myself. I refused to be a hypocrite, so for a week I kind of just was stubborn with God and fell off. I wasn’t reading any of my devotions, praying, listening to my worship music, and I ignored all of my friends that could possibly speak light into me. I was falling back into my old ways, and I was okay with that. I was unhappy with God and the world. I lost both of my jobs, but my rent still had to be paid. I didn’t understand and was annoyed that there was nothing I could do about it.
Then one night as I was showering and God began to speak to me. I remember closing my eyes and hearing him say “I’m here, I haven’t gone anywhere Tierra.” And from that moment on, I was like okay, I’m back. I just began to pray and lay down all of my worry, doubt, and frustration, and I knew at that very moment there was nothing I could do without him. I still had work there needed to be done, and he wasn’t finished with me yet. He put me in check and I got back on track.
For me, being called to ministry is exciting and can be confusing, especially during moments like this. But I have heard many ministers express that it’s not about what you do during this pandemic, it’s about how you choose to come out of this pandemic. When this is all over, I want to come out heavy with the Armor of God, ready to reach disciples and share the mighty works he has and will continue to do.
Isaiah 41:10 says, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious hand.”
I say this all to say that no matter where you are and how you’re feeling, God has the final say and you will come out stronger and better than ever, but it’s up to you. Stay encouraged and get in his word. And if you are thinking “well, I’m not religious” or “I don’t know God,” all I can say is get to know God. Seek him and his word, it’s times like this where he knows we need him the most and it’s easier to just into his word.
Be encouraged and stay encouraged, see you on the other side!