What not to do during a heartache

Going through a breakup or heartache can be so annoying and tiring. We all have different ways to cope with the madness and messiness that we call our dating life. However, there are some things that we choose to do that sabotage ourselves. We may go back to drinking whenever we’ve been sober for months or years. We spend a little too much to fill a void in our life. We make irrational decisions such as hitting up an ex because we feel lonely or simply bored. 

We go through this never-ending cycle because we rather feel ‘alive’ by doing these things than to feel the hurt that is still there. Falling back into bad habits that we let go of just to forget about all the crazy feelings that we are feeling won’t change the fact that you’re still heartbroken. It won’t change the fact that your relationship or friendship fell through. Yes, it gives us temporary happiness, but when it’s all said and done, we didn’t make a decision that will make us happy for the long-term. 

When we decide to drink again and continue to drink without caring about the consequences, we are allowing for our sadness to overtake us. With every emotion, we feel we take another sip because, in all honesty, we want pity. We want people to feel bad for us because if they don’t, we feel like we messed up and that it is our fault for why the relationship sunk. 

When we decide to spend money that we had been saving leads us to eventually struggling to make it all back. We work more and take up more shifts to dig ourselves out of the financial hole that we dug up ourselves. The more workload, the more stress, which leads to more reasons why to continue to go down this spiral that we can no longer control.

When we decide to send a message to our ex or a former hookup, we regain confidence that we lost with the current heartbreak. Our pride assists us in getting dressed, meeting up, and doing something that won’t take away the heartbreak. Yes, we feel sexy or wanted, but for what? When we go back home we still lay our heads on the pillow alone, and again still feeling not good enough.

We should reevaluate our decisions before we make them. Hooking up with someone to forget some else is allowing you to depend on someone else for your happiness. Drinking will only make yourself feel horrible once you’re sober. And spending will add to your stress eventually. Everything catches back up to us. I always say never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings. So, if you’ve been looking for a sign to change your decisions, take this as one.