Sometimes, it’s just not funny. We’re not talking about failed punchlines, jokes out of context, or puns so bad they’re irredeemable — we’re tackling the monster that is bigoted and genuinely hurtful “humour”: Black humour. Most people know not to mess with things like race and gender, but the topic of mental health and mental illnesses seems to be in either forgotten or ignored as something that should be taken seriously. Here’s five reasons to convince you of otherwise.
1. Making light of something serious is a bad move
Laughing about a mental illness or symptom makes for a terrible impression. It doesn’t just speak volumes about what you think about people who have mental illnesses and disorders, it also says a lot to the people who listen to you. You might think it’s “just a joke”, but your boss might not seem amused if they catch you saying that “depression isn’t real”. It is very real, and your boss is also very disappointed.
2. The only one laughing is you
When you make fun of something like mental health, you’re more often than not the only person really laughing. If others join in, it’s for three reasons: they don’t know any better (which they should), they do know better (which is worse), or they’re just laughing because maybe it might make you stop talking. It’s okay if you’ve found yourself in either of these situations: the thing is to learn from it. Stand up for others when you hear them being attacked.
3. You make people feel awful…
Are you sure it’s a good idea to joke about how “OCD” you are because you organized your desk? Really sure? Because it wasn’t very funny to your friend with an actual obsessive-compulsive disorder, who – by the way – isn’t going to tell you after that. You never know who’s listening, and even if you do, you don’t know everything about their life. It’s best just to be decent.
4. …And you push them away
Nobody likes a mean girl. Most folks will take a mental note not get too close to you if you mock other people, especially entire groups of people, without a second thought. Compromising others’ trust makes you go down the list of potential bffs, and it might also whittle away the ones you already have. Your friend with OCD probably thinks so, too.
5. Bigotry leads to Bigotry
When a member of a majority or vocal group expresses detrimental comments about a minority, or silent, group, it leads to that one being criticized for things that might not even be true. Just the OCD example is familiar enough — we’ve all heard somebody say that, and it’s likely that they don’t even know that “organizing things” is not the crux of that disorder. Misinformation and vocal attacks lead to discrimination. It’s a time-tested formula that has affected not just the mentally ill, but people of colour, members of the LBGTQIA+ community, and other minorities.
A lot of people have a hard time thinking that this kind of thing is really hurtful. “It’s just a joke,” they might say, “they’re just too sensitive.” But the particularity of this is that, no, people aren’t too sensitive — there’s just a limit to the kind of things you can say. Joking about suicide to a suicidal person is not just a really crass thing to do, it might even be dangerous, especially if that person is, you know, “too sensitive”. It’s not hard to be decent.
Please think of others when you next make jokes. They’ll come out a lot funnier.