There’s still a lot negative connotations around the idea of going to therapy and seeing yourself with a psychologist. Growing up in a Latino household, mental health was often stigmatized. However, in recent years, my family has been more open, concerned, and attentive to mental wellbeing. Yet, even though my family has become more supportive on these matters, I still struggled to see therapy as something normal and healthy.
The idea of going to therapy sounded absolutely intimidating, which ultimately contradicts the vision I have of myself as an independent, fearless, and mature person. I’m often that person in the group giving advice instead of receiving it. So, thinking about telling my problems to a total stranger seemed terrifyingーlet alone, thinking they could possibly make things worse. Nonetheless, after struggling unnecessarily to deal with my emotions, thoughts and problems, I decided to book a session. After I visited my therapist and had the chance to talk things out, my only question was: Why didn’t I do this sooner? Here are a couple of pointers that I learned from therapy:
- IF YOU’RE QUEER AND YOU CAN GET A QUEER THERAPIST, DO SO.
I told myself that if I was going to get help, it had to come from someone queer, or who was at least specialized in helping queer adults. Why? I think it just made me feel comfortable knowing that the assistance I needed was coming from someone that could really empathize with me or, in other words, could understand some of my struggles because they have, perhaps, experienced them in the past.
- THERE ARE NO BIG OT SMALL PROBLEMS TO JUSTIFY GOING TO THERAPY.
As I sat in my sessions and verbalized the stuff I was going through, sometimes I felt my troubles weren’t worth an hour session. However, all of us as individuals along with our problems are completely unique, and how we handle them is likewise different from the rest. Minimizing my situations and allowing myself to go out into the world without help just because of internalized stereotypes was completely unfair to me and my process.
The only person responsible for this
was me.
- TALKING ABOUT YOUR TROUBLES WITH A NEUTRAL PERSON IS A GAME CHANGER.
Don’t get me wrong, I will forever enjoy venting about my problems, emotions, and struggles with my best friends and sometimes even family members. They’re my absolute source of support and motivation for my success. However, on most occasions, they tend to take our side on everything we verbalize. For instance, if we’re talking about relationship troubles, they’re most likely to side with you and cancel the other personーeven more so, if they tell us what we don’t want to hear.
Talking to an unbiased person about any situation gives you the chance to see the whole picture and to get some wholesome grounded advice. In my experience, explaining everything to my therapist has allowed me to see what went wrong, what changed, and how to resolve most things before even hearing what they have to say. Specifically, if they say something you don’t want to hear, you kinda can’t get mad at them if it resonates with you.
- YOUR SESSION DOES NOT HAVE TO BE ABOUT SAD THINGS.
While it is totally understandable if there are a lot of negative emotions that are addressed in a session, booking a one-on-one with your therapist to verbalize and identify positive behavior is also great. I’ve come to learn that therapy is a space for verbalization and identification. In sessions where I’ve talked about feeling happy or finding my groove again, I’ve been able to also identify what has worked, what has not, and how to continue moving forward. Your therapist will be there when you’re sad, happy or in need of verbalizing whatever it is that it’s going on. Use that to your advantage.
- HEALING IS NOT LINEAR
Probably the most important point in all of this process. Even more so, the one that still costs me tremendously to accept. You won’t solve your problems in just one session… not two… and not even three. Healing isn’t something that happens overnight. I’ve been on this journey for a few months now and there aresome days truly harder than others. Identifying your struggles with a therapist is a process that takes time and you should see it as something you’re doing to better yourselfーregardless of the time it takes.
Some sessions will leave you feeling invincible, while others might make you rethink absolutely everything. Both experiences will help you understand and grow into who you want to become.
That’s all part of the rollercoaster that is therapy and healing. Try to think that you are building the foundation of your feelings, emotions, and thoughts in a new and healthy way. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You can’t expect for your mental health and new groove to be either.
As I continue on this wellness journey, I’ve come to learn how normal it really is to see a mental health provider. Taking care of our bodies also includes our mental wellbeing. Going to therapy has become one of multiple things I look forward to both take care and treat myself. Also, taking on this journey has made me realize how difficult it can be to seek medical assistance, when it should be just as accessible as every fast food around the corner. So, in spite of that, here’s my therapy center and a few free resources on campus and off campus to look into. Don’t be afraid to reach out, and take a chance to vent out and get well.