Have you ever stopped everything you’re doing and just thought? No matter the answer, yes or no, you know you have to do it and keep doing it along the way. Because .life is not worth living if you don’t really know who’s the one living it.
“…it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it.”
– Frank O’Hara.
I can bargain with the time
I have to substitute any
Unrelenting thought that
Comes to mind.
But I cannot seem to justify
My own actions nor consciously
Understand the way it bounces
Back and forth, the same way
Words unravel themselves in
Thoughtless sentences.
Yet, I am baffled, sometimes even insulted at the thought of
Not owning my words and the weight they carry with them.
And I cross picket lines and fences and walls, I defend
Myself against troubling times
And I hold myself accountable
For every breath I steal from
The emergency exit I desperately yet unconsciously look for.
I seem to lack context in this chapter and I feel just as a mere footnote that was only added for comedic relief.
And I’m telling you all about, not asking for help,
But because I simply cannot be the only one.
The only one that barely touches the ground,
That speaks in fragmented metaphors
And is in dire need of more
Than just another cold coke in under the sun,
Another mind boggling experience in the eyes of
Those who seem to have figured it out,
But decided to exclude me from the pages I thought I was on.
by Jean Rodriguez