Who I am Hates Who I’ve Been

“I’m sorry for the person I became.I’m sorry that it took so long for me to change.I’m ready to be sure I never become that way again’cause who I am hates who I’ve been.”- Relient K

Take a moment and think about yourself – who you are right at this very minute. There has probably been a moment in your life where you have disliked yourself so much that you couldn’t even recognize yourself anymore. Every now and then we feel remorse about something we’ve said or done – we become aware of things that have happened and the impact of them in our lives. But if it wasn’t because of these things, you wouldn’t know where you would be standing at this very moment.  Take a look back at your life and see for yourself.

You may have it all – amazing friends, a good family, pretty good health and overall nice life, but sometimes, it seems like something is missing. Haven’t all of us felt this way before? There’s a spark you don’t feel, there’s a space that needs to be filled, but you don’t know exactly what it is. Maybe there has been a situation in which you were supposed to react a certain way and did the exact opposite. Maybe you betrayed someone close to you. Maybe you let yourself go through something you said you would never do. And because life is a continuous lesson that fills us with new experiences, it’s no surprise to sometimes feel as if hating yourself for going through these things is the most natural thing to do. 

In a society that’s draped with illusions of perfection, we tend to forget that we are only human and breaking down is completely normal. We beat ourselves up too much for acting out of character, for disappointing those around us, for simply making the wrong choices. Sometimes we get to a point where it feels like the end of the world, and we can’t help but dislike ourselves for allowing ourselves to get to that point in the first place. Even during the darkest point in life, you must always remember that no matter how badly something has gone, you can always turn around and start over again.

Never lose the idea that mistakes are there to help us learn, and recover. As time goes by, everything will make sense. It may take a while, but when you are in your truly darkest form, is when you will see the light in the lessons you have learned. It is when we have nothing, that we realize how grateful we should have been, or how oblivious to others around us we tend to be sometimes. And it’s okay. It’s not too late to learn. And sure, maybe you can’t change back things, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make it right. Don’t try to fix what’s already broken; simply take a deep breath and walk away. Work on yourself, because you’re the one that needs it the most. 

Only after you truly get better, you begin to notice the most valuable principles in life: gratefulness, acceptance, respect. Sure, you may still hate the person you were back then, but keep your head held high, because you made it through in the end. Don’t hate who you were, thank yourself for showing you the right path.

[Photo credit: Tumblr, We Heart It][Lyrics: Who I am Hates Who I’ve Been – Relient K]

• introspection