February 14th, otherwise known as Valentine’s Day, is traditionally known as the “Hallmark Holiday” where adorable teddy bears are bought, cheesy love songs are sung, and chocolate is gifted along with a bouquet of flowers and a card from “your secret admirer”. In summary, all these traditions are romantic, with the end goal being to attract or celebrate a potential or current partner, and although these traditions are charming or endearing, I would like to shift the focus to celebrate another type of love: female friendships. Maintaining long-lasting friendships with other women is not only full of joy and incredibly rewarding, but it also teaches us very important lessons of how to navigate other parts of our lives. Female friendships can also promote personal growth and positively impact our overall lives. Galentine’s Day, celebrated on February 13th is focused on celebrating exactly that.
The concept of Galentine’s Day originated from the popular TV series Parks and Rec (2010) where one of the main characters, Leslie Knope and her best “lady friends” join for brunch on February 13th away from their husbands and boyfriends. At the restaurant, they exchange gifts, thorough appreciation notes, have a delicious meal , and talk about anything and everything. Since then, many have adopted the tradition and made it their own. This scene may be overlooked by anyone who doesn’t appreciate the significance of female friendships and the role they have on a woman’s growth, but it’s a prime example of how valuable the time spent with our girls truly is.
I asked seven of my closest friends what lessons they have learned cultivating and strengthening female friendships. Their answers were refreshing, inspiring and comforting:
- “Having strong female friendships who support me unconditionally has helped my self-confidence.”
- “Connecting with someone on a deeper level is like finding yourself in someone else. My female friendships have provided me that.”
- “My female friendships help me connect to my inner child.”
- “My female friends mean sisterhood, support and admiration. They have taught me that no matter what life throws at you, good or bad, we can get through it. Some things are mean to be lessons”.
- “Sorority has helped me feel like I belong.”
- “Unconditional support from my best girlfriends has helped me see that uncomfortable conversations can be for my own wellbeing, as well as the betterment of the friendship.”
- “Female friendships transcend generations and age groups, some of my most valuable and rewarding relationships are with women who are not peers, but whose energy and wisdom, have helped me grow and see the world from a different perspective.”
I encourage every woman to really nurture and value the female relationships in your life. No one will ever understand and help through your hardships, celebrate your wins or listen with a nonjudgmental ear quite like your best girlfriends. There’s a deeper understanding of what it means to be a woman in society. We get to share the beautiful moments of womanhood as well as help each other navigate the hardships of the same condition. It is also important to note that strong female friendships should provide a safe environment for us to be ourselves, be comforted, encouraged, and celebrated. If you feel like these needs are not being met by those who surround you, find a place where that is provided to you. There are so many places you already belong, and you don’t even know it yet, so I also encourage you to go look for that feeling and don’t settle until you find it.
I would also argue that the most important female relationships we have are the connections we share with our mothers and sisters. This is where we learn how to relate, communicate and empathize with other women. The unconditional love of family and specially of our mothers help us cultivate that desire to nurture and bring others up, instead of tearing them down. For the most part, having a positive, reassuring, deep connection with our mothers and sisters will ensure a more positive dynamic with women we relate to outside of that familial circle. We eventually carry all those lessons to our future friendships with other women.
There are no rules to celebrate Galentine’s, maybe your friend group likes to go out, dance and let loose or you and your girls can opt for a night in and schedule a series of activities for yourselves to enjoy, bond and strengthen your relationships even further. These are some ways to celebrate Galentine’s Day with activities to recharge your energies and tap into your inner child by celebrating your best friendships:
- Writing love letters to yourself or appreciation notes to your best girlfriends can help you dig deeper and reach a new level of trust within yourself or those closest to you. Get creative with your letters by cutting them into heart shapes, adding stickers, or bedazzling them for extra love.
- Indulge in your favorite meals and have fun in the kitchen, creating heart-shaped pizzas, cupcakes, or charcuterie boards that feature your favorite snacks.
- Get artsy by painting mugs, glasses, or pottery to cherish as a keepsake of a memorable day or to gift to each other.
- Organize a gift exchange ahead of time and add an element of surprise to the night.
- Make themed cocktails or mocktails to add a fun, festive touch to the occasion.
- Capture the moments with a photoshoot; bring a disposable camera, decorate and dress in the Valentine’s theme and save all your memories for you and your besties to cherish forever.
- Unwind with a good Rom-Com, to laugh (or cry) to the classic heartwarming stories we all know and love.
To conclude, while Valentine’s Day is more commonly associated with romantic gestures and traditions, there is also space to celebrate other forms of love, particularly female friendships. The significance of female friendships and platonic relationships provide more than just companionship, they also provide us with a safe space to be ourselves, encouragement and social skills that we carry with us our whole lives. The relationships with the women within our familial circle, especially our mothers serve as the base for our development and understanding for future platonic female relationships. Galentine’s Day gives us an opportunity to commemorate our best friendships by spending quality time with each other, whether that be cooking, writing letters, painting, watching a movie or capturing the moment with photography. At its core, the bond that is born from strong female friendships is not only such a rewarding experience but provides so much insight about womanhood and life itself. This said, it’s important to note that for women it is crucial to seek environments where you feel safe and that encourage your same values, meet your specific needs and celebrate your most authentic self.