“I’m totally considering withdrawing from that class; I went completely blank on that exam. It was catastrophic. I mean who am I kidding? I cannot pass that class” Lily was venting to her friends with a Medalla in hand at El Garabato. “Oh please, I bet you did just fine” María quickly assured her but Lily, who has a hard time believing positive input, quickly rolled her eyes. As Mónica returned with another round of beers; she added she had always admired how Lily seemed so sure of herself in class and with professors while she never spoke fearing she would sound stupid.
This conversation never actually took place but you surely have heard these comments before- whether it comes from that voice in your head or a friend in class. In fields that women are a minority it’s pretty easy to feel out of place or even believe that you don’t belong, easily hurting your performance.
UPRM was recently named the 4th best engineering school by College Resource Network. UPRM’s male community is, generally, not as exclusive as in other universities. Nevertheless, it’s easy to feel alone when in a class of 30 students- only 5 are female. According to OIIP, on 2014s’ fall semester enrollment, the female to male ratio looked like 1,123:2,997 on engineering majors. The male population doubled the female one!
The Imposter Syndrome dates back to the 80’s. This psychological phenomenon is usually associated with successful women, but it has been recorded across genders, cultures and age groups. Caltech defines it as:
“…a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist even in face of information that indicates that the opposite is true. It is experienced internally as chronic self-doubt, and feelings of intellectual fraudulence.”
If you often find yourself or know someone who:
Feels like a fake
Attributes success to luck
Discounts success
Has a deep fear of failure
You are not the only one! It is so nice to be able to put a name to all of those discouragement thoughts and admitting it is a problem. The syndrome is not considered as a mental disorder so it’s something you can leave behind with a little force of will and encouragement. According to Phycology Today you can combat it by:
Own your successes: Give credit where credit is due if you received help but make sure to internalize how hard you worked or how much time you invested.
*Keeping a journal is a magnificent tool. Also keep thank you notes, emails with positive input etc. for those days you need extra help.
Own your thoughts: Negative thought only prep the field for the Imposter Syndrome to flourish. To keep all the negativity at bay put different thoughts in its place. Instead of thinking “I’m not going to fail this test” muse about how you are going to ace it.
Understand what those feelings are for: These anxieties and fears, in moderation, are a great tool because they motivate you to do better.
Professors. Students. Everyone experiences self-doubt and fear of failing. The difference will be what you do in response of those feelings.So, it’s okay if, as a female student, you end up questioning your success once in a while: as long as you remember that you have earned it.