With Thanksgiving being over, the next shiny, big festivity is Christmas. For some, it might be all smiles and giggles, but others don’t have it that easy. Having to spend time with family members so closely and for so long, can be draining. Getting into arguments, receiving effortless gifts, and being forced to attend (unacquainted) family gatherings make up just some of the dreadfulness that comes with the holiday season. While I don’t have the right answers as to what to do in these situations, all I can say is you are not alone and I relate to the feeling.
First off, my political and social views do not align with my parents’ ideals (mine being more liberal, and theirs being a lot more conservative) and it makes us clash a lot. My solution to this is keeping quiet; but it isn’t the healthiest, either. I recognize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I do not agree with being disrespectful to one another when views differ. Unfortunately, that is how most of our “civil” discussions over holiday dinner end up as, straight-up disrespect and hurt feelings.
Then, gift-giving becomes an issue, too. I’m an adult, so I don’t really ask for presents anymore. However, I do enjoy giving presents and I often go all out with the ones I give out. I try my best to seek out what everyone on my list enjoys and I make sure to be accurate with what I buy them. Even though I don’t ask for anything, I would at least expect some thought to go into the gifts I receive. More often than not, what I get is underwhelming– it almost feels like it was a chore to buy, which makes me feel unimportant.
Finally, family gatherings. Where do I begin? People I don’t know or I haven’t seen in forever all in one place. It’s extremely overwhelming. The awkward oh-you’re-here-smiles and the polite kiss-on-the-cheek to the unfamiliar family members make my stomach turn. I just sit quietly in the corner of the room. I try my best to not draw any attention to myself, that way I don’t have to engage in any cringy small talk. Now, I know what you might be thinking, “that’s kind of rude!”, but to me, it’s far worse for them to fake a smile once a year and to not actually care for the person for the rest of it. No, thanks.
So, this article goes out to all of you other grinches. You are seen, and you are heard. We’ve got each other to mope on.
(un)Happy Holidays!