John remembers the day he was diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). “It was very uncomfortable” he says. Back then, he was 15 years old and he had never visited a psychologist office before. “I couldn’t even begin to describe how strange it felt to speak to a stranger about my feelings. After about three different appointments, the psychiatrist reached out to my mom and recommended a psychiatrist due to the possibility of me having ADHD.” But when he received this recommendation, he recalls it didn’t feel out of place. “It didn’t feel strange at all. It didn’t come to me as a shock. In fact, I just felt that this was something that was a part of me that I had been dealing with long before someone came and gave it a name.”
Looking back, there are things he remembers that always pointed to ADHD. For him, the most palpable symptoms were that he wouldn’t stop talking in classes, which is very common when someone has this disorder. Often times, he would finish his work easily and have nothing else to do: “I would look around the room for interesting things and make comments about them.” He remembers. But on top of this, focusing was something else he struggled with, especially when it came to staying on one topic while conversing. “I would take major tangents during conversations and somehow, the conversation would either end up right where it started or I would have to ask, What were we talking about again?, the latter being the most frequent.” And even though tangents might seem as something we all experience in our day to day conversations, for a person with ADHD, this comes along with a series of other challenges that can make returning to the first topic almost impossible. As the National Institute of Mental Health explains, ADHD makes it difficult for a person to pay attention and control impulsive behaviors. He or she may also be restless and almost constantly active.
In his free time, John loves music; he enjoys discovering new artists and making music playlists for the semester. In this, his senior year, he has taken a different approach to his hobby: “I have been enjoying listening to the older playlists that I made throughout my years in college. It brings back a lot of memories associated to the music I listened to.” In a more professional note, throughout his university career, he has been an active researcher, working with several different labs and initiatives. Russell A. Barkley, PhD, a clinical psychologist who has been studying ADHD for 30 years, mentions in his studies that the disorder can affect a person’s ability to organize, solve problems, and self-regulate. When talking about the doctor’s research, he remarks jokingly, “If Dr.Barkley were to look at my room, he would most certainly prove his hypothesis.”
But this hasn’t stopped John in his journey. He explains that he enjoys “the effort and would be bored if not for [his] extra-curricular activities.” He owes his passion and inclination towards research to Dr. Cacimar Ramos, who gave him his first investigation training at the Industrial Biotechnology Learning Center, and Dr. Carmen Vega, who gave him his first investigation experience. His original goal was to use his industrial biotechnology preparation to move towards medicine. However, his vision completely changed thanks to the opportunities given to him by these mentors. “I fell in love with all the things one could discover in a laboratory,” he says. With Dr. Vega he “learned how to organize [his] research, find and describe the roots of a problem, and manage [his] time between the courses and the investigation.” Then, when asked what he remembers the most, he relates happily, “Spending countless hours in the lab preparing experiments and asking myself, What would happen if I do this?, and then doing it! That would be my favorite part of investigation: the ability to ask yourself what if, and the capacity to do it.” He feels as if he hasn’t had to work harder than others to succeed in this field regardless of having ADHD. Maybe this is because by the time he started university, he was already in the process of being treated and was able to work with his symptoms better. Yet, he remains an inspiration to all of us showing that success is possible when you truly find your passion.
A key part in the beginning on John’s journey towards treatment was his mom because according to him, she “was worried about [his] emotional development.” He recalls, “I was never the type of person to have many friends, but I would always get in trouble for talking in classes. She was confused about why I liked to spend so much time in my room and how quiet I was in the house as opposed to school.” In every disorder, the most important part is getting that diagnosis to start the journey towards the right treatment. Every patient is different, and there are many options depending on how ADHD affects each individual. In John’s case, he has transitioned from medication to a more natural approach. “I used to take medications during my first college years. I would have to say there were major differences. During my treatment, there were various medications utilized. Most were supposed to be stimulants, but for some reason, I would always feel slowed down. It made enjoying things that I would usually do much harder. Courses felt much longer when I was taking medications than when I wasn’t.” John went through a variety of different medications until his current psychologist and psychiatrist decided to attempt a combination of medications and behavioral management. Gladly for him, the end result was eliminating the use of medications completely. He wouldn’t have made it to this point if he hadn’t taken that first step of diagnosis. And even when it gets better with time, it never really leaves the patient. For John, symptoms that are still vividly with him every day are those who were there with him from the start: conversing, focusing, and sleep disorders. “Sometimes my mind is just racing through, but my mouth can’t keep up” he explains. “This leads to my conversation partner having no clue what I’m talking about. When it comes to focusing, the other person might be explaining something to me, but I’ll get caught up in one detail that they said. The next thing you know, I am clueless as to the rest of the conversation.” Finally, he explained that he also deals with sleeping disorders such as insomnia which is common for people with ADHD. The disorder doesn’t disappear at night and patients can be disturbed by physical and mental restlessness. He mentions that he, “would lie awake at night thinking wild thoughts, or recreating events that occurred during the week, or even just staring at the ceiling, making shapes with the outlines of paint. This leads to [him] being tired for the first few hours of the day,” which is why he despises taking classes before 9:30 am. Don’t we all?
It is prudent to mention that this is a chronic disease. People often have the misconception that only children can be diagnosed with ADHD. More often than not, they also believe that this is a curable disease, that you will get over it once you mature. “I don’t enjoy these comments,” John says, “Yes, it is common for kids to be diagnosed with ADHD, but plenty of adults are diagnosed with it also. ADHD is a lifelong condition. Just because someone has learned ways to manage their symptoms does not mean they are outgrowing their illness. These types of comments lead to self-esteem issues, undermining and marginalizing the struggle that people with ADHD and other mental associated illnesses go through.” He recommends that people who think like this seek out understanding the illness by visiting a mental health professional and seeking information about the disorder and its effects. You can feel the raw discomfort in John’s words and it is anything but unjustified. These type of comments are the foundation of the stigma that we face in our society. Nowadays, advances in science and medicine help people with different diagnoses not be limited by their condition. There are different treatments and approaches that help people like John cope with the symptoms and live a regular life. So why should there be any prejudice or stigma towards them? Ignorance and lack of understanding is a sickness that some of us who are “healthy” often face. It is a flaw in our current culture that only those diagnosed and their inner circle are educated on the condition they face. For many others, the condition is a mystery until it becomes personal. This not only feeds prejudice, but also makes us unprepared when we do have to face those conditions ourselves.
John has a very bright future ahead of him. He is currently graduating from industrial biotechnology and chemical engineering and is in the process of applying to various graduate schools. He hopes to complete a doctorate degree in chemical engineering with focus on material sciences. “In the near future, I hope to be studying and refining my skills as an investigator and professional academic scholar. In the far future, I hope to be able to return to my alma mater after working in an industrial setting with hopes to teach a new generation of students, combining the experiences I hope to gain in the industry with the academic setting, and inspire students to reach new heights, just as some of my professor’s have inspired and helped me.” But, John is already an inspiration to many students, especially those struggling with similar disorders as him. He has been an active collaborator in the Program for Reasonable Accommodation assisting students with handicaps and disabilities. For that same reason, I decided to ask John some advice to people who might be facing what he’s had to face. And even though he started off by saying that he wasn’t good at this sort of thing, I find his answers truly inspiring.
First, what would you want to say to a person who has recently been diagnosed with ADHD and might be having feelings of self-doubt due to the diagnosis?
“To these people I would have to say the following: you have been living your life without a name for what you were experiencing. A flower cares not for the name another gives it, and neither should you.”
And last but not least, what would you want to say to people who might feel like they have the symptoms but are afraid being evaluated due to the stigma?
“If you feel like you may be experiencing any symptoms at all, understand that you being evaluated and diagnosed with anything is entirely your business. There is no need for anyone else to know and find out about it unless you tell them, that is why physician-patient confidentiality is a thing. Also, understand that being diagnosed allows you to receive medical attention that may help you understand more of what you are going through and can help relieve the symptoms, allowing you to feel better about yourself. You may also be able to apply for different educational privileges, like reasonable accommodation for college activities, such as more time during an exam. The benefits outweigh the drawbacks, which are close to none.”
As part of ADHD awareness month, we invite all the student body to seek out more information about this disorder. In this technological era, where anything we want to learn is in our fingertips, we have a moral and social duty to educate ourselves about this and other disorders that are the reality for so many around us. This is the first step towards ending stigma. This is the first step towards helping others, who might have the disorder but have never been diagnosed, find the proper treatment. We can only battle stigma and ignorance with a true desire to learn and an open heart to understand.