Considering the results of the U.S. and Puerto Rico’s general elections, I am not sure if many queer/trans people feel hopeful, but I am beginning to have a distaste for aimless words like “we will be alright” or “we will survive this”. Although I believe these words to be true, they are not any less painful for us. Despite my ability to help with my platform, I find myself uttering these phrases, that it will be fine, that we will be alright in the end. But I wonder, how tired are other trans creators? After so much fighting, how much more must we endure? What about those of us who chose to be in the line of fire? Do they get tired too? Did they also cry on the eve after the election? I am tired, severely so— I cried, I screamed, I rotted in my bed, shaken up by nightmares of how I imagined things would unfold for me and my trans siblings under this new government. But this horror, as real and as threatening it is to my community, has paradoxically taken away my fear of coming out to people. I don’t know if it has to do with the fact that I belong to punk and goth subcultures, where self-expression is paramount. Amongst the fear, I feel more empowered than ever to show who I am unapologetically. I could dwell on the brokenness of the U.S., or the failings of Puerto Rico’s government, but that won’t solve anything. Instead, I urge you to focus on the immediate challenges we can tackle: rebuilding and fostering hope among the queer/trans community. Grassroots organizations, mutual aid and community efforts will be crucial to set forth the change we want to see. We must hope that the future we fight for becomes a reality. Although I cannot promise these 4 years will go without harm, if there is anything that the punk, goth, and trans movements have taught me is that our voices are cyclical. Our elders and predecessors endured hard times as well, and they made it. Our culture is still alive. It will be fine, we will get through it. Inspired by these movements, I will not back down. Let’s create a future where trans elders are more numerous than ever before. My name is Marceline Ruiz Martínez, a trans nonbinary woman, and who captures raw emotion and energy, and I will not be silenced.
…Stay the Course. You will make it someday
Volition – Disco Elysium (2019)