Now that second semester is coming to an end, we’ve all gotten to know the kids in class, or atleast observed them. Here are some of the types of URI students you are destined to meet in one of your classes.
1. The No Show
You’re pretty sure you saw them on the first day of class but that’s definitely the last time you saw. I hate to be the one to tell you guys, but there’s only so much the syllabus can tell.
“The professor put the slides on Sakai, so I think I’m good for the semester.”
2. The Slacker
Contrary to the no show, these kids show up every class even though they don’t contribute at all. Also know as the “back of the classers”. You can always hear the buzz of them talking about anything and anything except the class you’re in.
“Duuuude you’ll never guess what happened to me this weekend!”
3. The Try Hard
They are the ones checking their notes immediately after their test and ripping out their hair if they missed even one question. There is no such thing as good enough for this person. They must have to have it all or nothing.
“What’d you get? Oh well I got a 99% but I’m going to the professor after class to try and raise it.”
4. The Dormant
We like to think they just didn’t get enough sleep the night before but really how do you take an exam while your eyes are closed?
“ZZZZzZZZzz…. wait what?”
5. The Texter
Their fingers are flying about a thousand miles a minute, whether it’s on their phone or on their computer (because come on, it’s not a big secret you can text on your Mac, now). No statement in the syllabus banning phones can hold them back, it’s totally worth the risk.
“lol hold on my prof sees me on my phone”
6. The Always 10 Minutes Late (with Dunkin)
They look like they just rolled out of bed, which would only be possible if they have a Dunkin Donuts drive-through attached to their bedroom. I guess coffee is the priority for tired college students.
“Did they already take attendance??”
7. The “Higher” Education
As if their Rastafarian themed ensemble isn’t enough of a hint, their glazed over look is a definite give away. You do you bro, but please put shoes on for everyone’s sake.
“But like, I’m not late because time is just a concept… you don’t see animals checking their watch bro.”
8. The BFFs
Attached at the hip is an understatement. They sit together, do work together, ask questions together, go to the bathroom together, and you find yourself questioning what would happen if one of them weren’t in class for a day. Prepare to deal with death glares if you separate them for group projects.
“You better work with me!” “OMG obviously!”
9. The Couple
Similar to the BFF’s but much, much worse. Please tell me you’re not about to start cuddling or feeding each other food in class. If I have to watch you canoodle I’m going to hurl, which is not in your favor considering you’re sitting on a lower level than me in this lecture hall.
“You’re so cute when you’re studious!”
“No babe, you’re so cute when you’re studious!”
10. The Muncher
Is that bag of chips really necessary? Do you carry a mini fridge in your backpack too? I didn’t even have time to stop at Bagelz this morning and you have a three-course meal sitting on your desk.
*CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUCH* “Here.” *CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH*