The ABC’s of URI

A – Alcohol.

It’s no secret that URI is known as a party school and we’re damn well proud of it.  Greenfest was a prime example of just how rowdy we rams can get.

B – Barlow Circle

Ahhh yes, the congregation of teen desperation.  Where all freshman unite to find out where the party is.  Where you met that football player who you let touch your butt in that Eastward house party that one time…

C – Construction

Because when isn’t there something being rennovated?  Next up we have the Engineering Building, Ranger Hall and apparently the Fine Arts Center.  I’m sure there’s more, but hey, I’m not complaining.  The new gym/Butterfield/Hillside look pretty damn good.

D – Dooley

For those of you who don’t know, this is the president of our University.  He is best known for sending out the e-mail circa ’13 that advised students to “walk like penguins” to class after a winter storm… Penguins.

E – Eastward

Where the majority of our undergrad students reside.  Usually featuring a plethora of orange stickers and lawn-parked cars.

F – Football

Unless you’re friends with the players, the only game you go to is homecoming and even then you only go for the tailgate. Sorry boys, you have really cool helmets though!

G – GDI vs. Greek

GDI was one of the first things I learned at college.  I was told it meant “greek dependent individual” BUT what it reeeeeally means is “God damn independent”. Definition: you are one of the few people on this campus that does not affiliate with a sorority/fraternity. Which is better?  You decide.

H – Hungry Rhody

The Holy Grail of ordering food.  Casa Pizza, The Rhode House, Albie’s, I-Zone, Gansett Wraps, Shoobie’s, etc.  No Ram goes unfed.

I – Internet

If you’re living on campus, I am so sorry, but odds are you will have awful, AWFUL wifi. 

J – J-Term

Just in case you need to catch up on some credits, as so many of us do, you can take expedited classes at a reduced rate over winter break.  Jussayin’.

K – Kingston

Or is it Kingstown? Or South Kingston?? Does anyone really know?

L – Library

It’s kind of like the cafeteria in Mean Girls:  out front you have the smokers, in the 24 hour room you have people who like to sit and talk to their friends, in the booths you have people who must actually camp out there because HOW TF DID YOU GET A BOOTH? On the second floor when you first walk in it’s pretty much Greek’s only and the third floor is silent.  No seriously, dead silent.

M – Memorial Union

Where the line to Dunkin is always out the door, the bookstore offers incredibly overpriced textbooks and apparel and, if you’re loved during your first year of college, you can pick up care packages here!

N – Nuggets

More specifically, Butt Nuggets.  Your absolute go-to meal at Butterfield.

O – Over

Over-worked, over-tired, over-slept, over-ate, over-drawn, over-it. This is college.

P – Pride

Despite all the bitching and moaning we do on a daily basis, we will defend this school to the grave.  My professors rock, this campus is gorgeous and I cannot imagine what my life would be like without the amazing friends I have made here. Raise your hand if you bleed Keaney Blue!

Q – Quad

The giant patch of green right in the middle of our gorgeous campus.  When it’s nice out you can find people laying out, playing frisbee, or even tight rope walking.  There’s also the occassional hammock hanging between trees, as well as a group of not-so-discrete individuals sitting in circles smoking them.  It’s okay, we’ll pretend we don’t see you.  

R – RHODY RHODY RHODY

RAMS RAMS RAMS!

S – Sakai

I love Sakai.  Especially when I can’t log into it because it’s “under maitenence”.

T – T’s Restaurant

One of the best breakfast place’s around.  The atmosphere can’t be beat, their coffee is almost as great as the mugs they come in and don’t even get me started on the homefries.

U – Undergrads

There are almost 14,000 of us.  We’ve been told to “take 15.  Finish in 4.”  But sometimes it takes a little longer because you changed your major 6 times…

V – Valid Parking Permit

THEY WILL TOW YOU.  CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.

W – Wheelhouse Wednesdays

The new and improved Pancho’s.

X – Xanax

Frequently used to treat anxiety, which a large majority of adolescents on campus suffer from.  However, this is some serious stuff and should not be abused.  Freshman be warned – do not take prescription drugs unless it’s YOUR NAME on the prescription.

Y – Yik-Yak

This was a much, MUCH bigger deal last year.  I really do miss the hilarity of Eastward’s finest.

Z – Zoo

The Zoo, formally known as Bonvue, is visited on Thursday nights by those who are above the age of 21 and can actually get past The Bearded Bouncer.  Good luck trying to sneak in with a fake, because that is not happenin’ here, kiddos.

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