Ask HC USC: Roommate problems!

Dear Mary Bryce,
I have been having some major trouble with my roommate. She is a complete neat freak and it freaks me out a little bit. We live in a dorm together, so I have to be around her all the time. I have to admit, I’m a little bit messy–I throw the occasional pair of socks on the floor when I get home from a hard day of classes–but I’m not as bad as she makes me out to be. I know a lot of other people have the exact opposite problem, of what to do if their roommate is a slob, but I don’t know anyone else going through the case of the too-clean roommate. I am finding it a little suffocating to always be subjected to her neatly-folded towels, perfectly-arranged desk, and impeccably-made bed. It makes me feel bad but I’m in college I don’t want to spend all my time cleaning! HELP!!
 
Sincerely,
Messy Betsy

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Dear Messy Betsy,
First of all, I’m sure you’re not the only Collegiette who’s had this problem.  In your situation, I think the best-case scenario for everyone involved is for you and your roommate to meet each other halfway. I’m not saying you should make your bed with military precision every morning, but don’t leave your blanket in a heap on the ground, either. If you follow a few simple tips, you and your roommate can get back on track and finish the semester in peace.
 
1.      Stay Civil
If you have a calm, rational discussion with your roommate and you both try to be more understanding, everyone can be happy! She needs to understand that you don’t want to be hyper-clean, but, at the same time, you need to accept that she won’t easily leave her obsession with neatness behind. During this conversation, it’s important for neither of you to make demands. You wouldn’t appreciate it if she gave you ultimatums (like “clean the room and keep it clean, or I’ll sic the RA on you”), so it wouldn’t be fair of you to try to force her into not caring about the room’s cleanliness.
 
2.      Power Clean
Set aside a few minutes every week to do what I call “power cleaning.” Maybe you have time between class and the newest episode of The Voice on Monday night – instead of surfing Facebook, do the dishes, even if they aren’t all yours! In addition to taking care of your responsibility to keep the room clean, this helps out your roommate (and it may take her off of your case for a few days). Once the dishes are done, your next step in “power cleaning” could be to scrub down the bathroom or re-organize your closet. Make sure you have some upbeat music to motivate you. If you don’t let the mess pile up, cleaning will be easier and your roommate will be less likely to get irritated.
 
3.     Use Teamwork
If you really hate cleaning out the refrigerator and taking out the trash, but don’t mind cleaning the shower and the sinks, bargain with your roommate. Maybe she’ll do the smelly chores if you do those that require more elbow grease. If one of your jobs calls for more work than you can handle, just ask for help. Your roommate seems like the type who would rather take a few minutes to help you pack clothes into storage than look at the pile of sweaters that have been on the floor for weeks.
 
4.     Make a Schedule
If you’re the kind of girl who likes to have your day planned out in writing, make a cleaning schedule and post it in a place your roommate will see it, like on the fridge. Designate a couple days a week for basic tasks like cleaning the coffee maker, scrubbing the toilet, and vacuuming the carpet. Alternate who does what so no one feels overwhelmed.  Making a list that you’ll see everyday also ensures that you don’t forget (an honest mistake) or avoid your cleaning responsibilities (a little less honest). Seeing the list may even motivate you to get your cleaning done early!
 
Betsy, I really hope you and your roommate can fix this cleaning conflict. Good luck and best wishes for a clean room!
 
Sincerely,
Mary Bryce