Finding Myself In College

            Ever since I could speak, I’ve always said I wanted to be a doctor. I chose to go to USF because I knew that it was a great school for medicine, and I decided on a major in Cell and Molecular Biology. I opted to start my college journey in June in order to get summer credits out of the way. By taking general chemistry and math, I was already struggling with the six-week semester. I ended up passing both courses, however I realized just how much I hated both subjects. Just knowing that it would get even harder as time progressed, I faced the following decision: following my dreams or following my heart. Sure, I always had the dream of being a doctor, but I also always had a passion for writing, which got stronger when I took journalism courses in high school. Two weeks into my fall semester, I decided to switch my major to Mass Communications with a concentration in News and Editorial Journalism. Everything was going great for me after that, but then I had a really horrible week. I failed two exams and was really disappointed in myself. So, like many college students would, I decided to go out to a party. I don’t remember much from that night, but I do remember standing on a ledge eight-stories high on the phone with my friend. I remember the police pulling me off and telling me that I was about a millimeter away from the going down. I was sent to a psychiatric hospital for a week, where I had group counseling and saw a psychiatrist everyday. The hardest part of that was telling my mom what had happened and where I was. When I was discharged, I was sent home with medication and appointments with almost every university resource I can possibly have. It’s hard thinking about what happened and knowing that I was so close, but I am so thankful that I went through that. I’m still finding myself with every passing day, but everyday it gets easier. Suicide is never the answer, and if you feel depressed in any way, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273-8255.