My 21st birthday is coming up (October 14!), which happens to be a pretty sensationalized event in a college girl’s life in America. As I approach an age marked by getting into bars, ordering endless drinks, and nursing raging hangovers the morning after making reckless decisions, I’ve been reflecting on what it means to me. And quite frankly, it doesn’t interest me all that much.Â
A girl’s 21st birthday is supposed to be a huge event, the day every girl in college is supposed to wait on with bated breath. But something I’ve realized, and it seems so have others in my generation, is that consuming alcohol in copious amounts just isn’t worth the headache (pun intended).
There are just too many reasons why, just 2 weeks before my 21st birthday, I’m considering the sober-curious movement that seems to have taken social media by storm in my generation as of late. To me, the biggest reason is probably my mental health. I experience “hang-xiety”, the tendency to be extremely anxious in the day or days after drinking large amounts, like no other. Of course being only 20, I haven’t consumed alcohol illegally, but I have taken part in drinking outside of the United States, where the legal age in most places is 18. What I’ve noticed is that not only do I feel more anxious and sad the morning after I drink a lot (because alcohol suppresses your nervous system), but I allow it to impact me in a way that influences irrational decision making even when I’m sober.Â
Recently, I was describing the way I felt to my therapist after I returned home from a study abroad trip with one too many hangovers (and bad decisions) and I was criticizing every action I took not only when I was drinking, but the actions I took after that as well. We realized that I tend to drink more in situations that I’m uncomfortable in, or to deal with the social anxiety that comes with interacting with people in that kind of setting. I think this is something a lot of people our age drink alcohol for — we are told it is “liquid courage” after all. But when I consume alcohol and let it take away my inhibitions, I feel like I’m in less control of my actions and decisions, and then I ruminate on them once I’m sober. If I don’t want to think about it, I’m more likely to drink again, something I’ve noticed a lot of people my age do.Â
Instead of continuously subjecting myself to the same cycle and crushing under the pressure, I’ve decided to spend less time in settings that make me anxious enough to be likely to drink a lot. I’ve noticed even when I’m going out to a club or bar, etc., if I’m with a group of people I genuinely feel like I can enjoy my time with, I use alcohol less as a crutch. I’m sure I’ll still have plenty of drinks (responsibly of course), but I’ve come to realize the difference between having a drink and drinking, which is a kind of maturity that’s unexpected prior to turning 21. I think the sober-curious movement might be onto something by encouraging people to try fun and creative drinks that don’t contain alcohol and taking off the pressure of drunk social interactions.