If you’re between the ages of 17 and 23, then there is a good chance you spent most of the early 2000s trying to emulate Lizzie McGuire. And why wouldn’t you? She was awesome, from her butterfly clip-covered head to her platform-sandaled toes. Only Lizzie could make mindlessly rambling in front of your crush and inexplicably falling into trash cans seem cool. So here it is, (even though we’re all basically adults) in honor of everyone’s favorite middle school girl, a Lizzie McGuire how-to guide!
1. Dress like Lizzie. We’re talking choker necklaces, embroidered/bedazzled jeans, and loud printed pants. If it helps, look back at some old photos and channel your kindergarten self. That pink top you wore in your class picture with the billowy sleeves and butterflies on it? A definite yes. Lizzie would approve. Anything with butterflies= yes.
2. Have really elaborate hairstyles. If you want to be like Lizzie, you’re going to need to step up your hair game. Lizzie’s hair is always braided, head-banded, clipped, or crimped to perfection. If styling your hair isn’t making you forty-five minutes late to class every day, you’re doing it wrong.
3. Master the art of three-way calling. This is a must. No one has any clue how to do it, but three-way calling is a crucial means of communication for Lizzie and takes up a good three minutes of every episode. Better dust off your cordless home phone and get on that!
4. Find your posse. Every Disney channel star needs two BFFs of opposite genders who blindly follow their every impulsive whim, and Lizzie is no exception. Your homies must be funny, loyal, and honest enough to call you out when you’ve become way too invested in your latest phase/obsession. They will drop off your homework when you’re sick, cover for you if you’re in a jam, and most importantly, they will always have your best interests at heart. So find yourself a Miranda and a Gordo and hit the mall!
5. Get an unattainable crush and a mean girl enemy. Anyone who aspires to be like Lizzie needs a Kate Sanders and an Ethan Craft. Being constantly reminded of what a loser you are by a girl twice your size actually builds character. And you’re probably already pining after the attractive but dimwitted guy in your class who hardly notices you, so just keep it up!
6. Be a “klutz”. This might seem counterintuitive because, well, who wants to be a klutz? Being clumsy, however, is actually one of Lizzie’s distinguishing characteristics; it makes her more accessible and easier to relate to. If there is food nearby, she will almost always manage to spill it on herself. Channel Lizzie by seizing any food spillage opportunity that comes your way and tripping over any object you come into contact with.
7. Make lots of mistakes and learn from them. The most important thing to remember in your mission to be like Lizzie is that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn your lesson in the end. No matter how long you’re grounded for or how much allowance your parents withhold as punishment, view your failures as a learning experience and an opportunity for moral development.