Now, I am going to start with the fact that by no means are queer relationships a new thing whatsoever. They can be traced all the way back to ancient Greece and Israel, as seen with Sappho, Julius Caesar and Nicomedes, Alexander the Great and Hephaestion, Socrates and Phaedo, and many more. It has also been seen among many cultures to raise a child as the opposite sex that they would have been assigned at birth. Some examples include the “female husbands” in Kenya and the “Two Spirit” in Native American culture, which is a third gender that they use to fulfill some social and ceremonial roles in their society. Although there were many homosexual ideals and stories in ancient times and in different cultures, revolutions did not start occurring in the modern era for non-heterosexual ideals to be recognized and accepted until the 1870s, and they ramped up in the late 1900s. This is mainly due to the newer societal ideals of gender roles and mainly Christian beliefs that have tried to get rid of or “fix” queer people.
However, I am part of the LGBTQ+ community and am in a queer relationship myself. I identify as being omnisexual, which is usually used interchangeably with identifying as pansexual, but they are different. Pansexuality is defined as being attracted to all genders and is referenced as being “gender-blind,” meaning they do not notice gender. Omnisexuality, on the other hand, has an attraction to all genders but recognizes the gender of those to whom they are attracted, unlike pansexuality. However, the definitions are different for everyone as no one can seem to agree on anything under the Bi+ umbrella. Currently, I am in a relationship (woot woot) with an AFAB (assigned female at birth) non-binary person who is not only genderqueer but also queer when it comes to sexuality. So, we are both fruity and queer in our own ways.
I have had my experience of being straight … Obviously, I was not, but I was perceived that way, and now that I am out, the two experiences are interesting to compare. In my opinion, being seen as straight, there is not a community feeling behind you, unlike in the LGBTQ+ community. I never had a huge deal of experience regarding this community until I came to college. I never met a non-binary person before coming here, and now I have met more than I can count on two hands and have been in two relationships with non-binary people.
It is a different feeling to be in a queer relationship compared to the standard hetero relationships that have been pushed on me my whole life. Before, I was not worried about what people would say about my romantic relationships because they were always a hetero relationship. Still, there is the stigma that comes with queer relationships. Being out in public holding their hand, sometimes people give nasty looks to show their disapproval. It is a bit unsettling to me that people do not just accept people for who they love. However, I openly admit that I do not care what other people think about me being in a queer relationship or these types of relationships in general because it is who I am and it makes me happy. The current relationship I am in is the happiest that I have ever been with someone. Yes, my relationships with men were good at times, and I was happy, but not to the extent that I feel now. We both understand and care for each other, which is different, not just from my experiences with being with men but also from what I have heard from other people. Now, obviously, I am not telling everyone to be in a queer relationship, but I am saying that being in a queer relationship has never made me feel better. Although, this may just be because I have finally accepted who I am and have found someone I truly care about. As long as you are happy with who you are with, then love whoever the hell you want. Be true to who you are and do not let the public eye change who you are and who you want to be. Don’t let the haters hate!