In our daily lives, we are so busy with assignments, labs, or research that free time is very limited. I almost always spend my free time with my good friends because I don’t get to see them at school. So, where do I have time for dating? Basically nowhere. Being in engineering and surrounded by guys constantly, I love being able to put my extra time towards my girlfriends. When you’re happy being with certain people and doing certain things, it’s hard to trade that time for something unfamiliar where success isn’t guaranteed. Most importantly, you need to take time for yourself, which may often be that bit of free time. If you lack the motivation to give up the little time you get away from school to see someone who may not even be worth it, I feel your struggle.
The time crunch also causes us a lot of criticism. There have been countless times where I have been called out by guys for “making excuses” to not hang out with them. The reality is, we have priorities and need spend our time wisely. The amount of times I have gotten “you’re using studying as an excuse” or “you’re not actually spending all week in the library” is honestly so ridiculous. These important years are building our futures, so why try to slow our roll?
Whether you’re in mathematics, biology, engineering, etc. you know that familiarity is comforting. Although I like when someone else has personality traits I lack (aka being patient and non-stubborn like me), I find it very hard to relate and connect with people who don’t have similar interests or abilities. For example, someone I talked to for a little bit was a music major, but music/instruments have never been an interest of mine or something I was good at. Therefore, I quickly lost interest because I really couldn’t relate to anything about him. If this sounds like something you’ve been through before, join the club.
Lastly, if you have managed to find a balance between seeing someone and keeping up with the STEM life, I applaud you. This is a difficult time to put others first when our individual plates are already stacked full. I’ve learned to be patient; to wait until paths cross. Channeling all our time and energy into a science of choice makes for a rough dating environment. Most of all, it’s hard to break the routine school beats us into. So, to all the future doctors, biologists, mathematicians, computer scientists, engineers, etc. keep the grind going, because we’re all in the same boat!
