Dearest Assigned Reading,
You are killing us all.
It is not humanly possible for one girl to read as much as is expected of her and still get her requisite hours of sleep. Yet, I suffer. The thing that bothers me most about assigned reading is how completely fruitless it is. We can stay up all night reading all 165 pages of the textbook and then go to lecture the next day and all we cover in class is the first 25 pages of all of that reading.
If assigned reading were Dante’s Inferno, then each subject would have its own level in Assigned Reading Hell. The reading for math appears to be the least severe of the hells, but really, it’s the most confusing. The professor tells us to read the introduction material for both sections 2.1 and 2.2… twenty pages of mathematically heavy material. We open the massive textbook feeling confident, only to find that most of it is incomprehensible formulae we’ve never seen before and explanations for how to cancel it out that make next to no sense. We skim the pages, knowing the professor will explain it in detail the next day. But what if we have to miss that next class where the confusing material will be explained and all we’re left with is these twenty pages that might as well be in Chinese? We are forced to sit idly by and accept that this upcoming quiz is not going to go our way.
The next several levels of hell are taken up by the usual textbook reading of subject matter in the sciences, including social, physical and political, as well as history and other textbook-heavy areas. These are the hells that leave us reading all 165 pages of the material only to find that the lecture basically follows it to the letter. So not only did I just suffer through the reading, I now have to suffer through a dramatic retelling of the reading complete with sad jokes, even sadder pity laughter, and a PowerPoint presentation.
The next hell is that of English reading. This is the hell that leaves us reading 165 pages of some Victorian love story, getting emotionally invested, and having the ending spoiled by the know-it-all in the second row the next class. This happens in every single class, several times a day. And as though it wasn’t bad enough that I have five classes all asking me to read 165 pages for each one, I now have to search for the deeper meaning in the passages so I can contribute to class discussion… which takes eight times as long as just reading the book like a normal human being.
The underlying theme in each of these hells is the reality that there are just not enough hours in the day. You make a run to the bathroom and you can’t enjoy that small, necessary break without wondering if you should have brought your assigned book with you. You read under the desk at work, over a meal, during conversations with friends and you still can’t get it all done in time. Why is there so much?
So basically, assigned reading, I would like to break up. You have ruined reading as a hobby for me, you have ruined my ability to take breaks, you have ruined my eyes, my favorite highlighter and my sanity. You are like a bad boyfriend, and I, for one, am done with you.
Sincerely,
A Frazzled College Girl