Then, again I don’t exist here, another reality where I don’t see myself with you. No matter where I jump in time, I am never by your side. I’ve lost where I had come from before this, drifting into other arms still feeling like I’m homesick. A different reality and you still aren’t mine, though I try so hard to be there we I’m always one step behind you. Trying to catch up to you, though I know this will never happen. In the past, you were married with four kids, happy with another kid on the way. Your wife was beautiful, but you could have done better. In the present you were alone, never thinking about love. Maybe it was because you felt content with just being alone. But I know different, I’ve seen you in the future. You needed someone, not a friend but something physical to call your own. You went around hungry for someone who will never hold your heart close as I would. But I’m just a time traveler, someone who can’t be by your side no matter what reality I find, myself in. If only I could be like you, someone who was blind to this second nature. If time could just stop for me and you could finally see who I was. It’s just this warping wall of light that keeps me from touching you, chasing after your shadow into the next time. If you could just turn back and face me, realize I have been the one that’s loved you the most maybe I would exist in your reality. Though I don’t have my own home to go back to, drifting in a web of realities that I could find happiness. I’m not complete until I am in your arms. I am better than the past woman, better than the present ones, and even the ones you haven’t met yet. I am the time traveler that yearns to exist, to live a normal life with someone who will age with me. I don’t want to be alone in the world, drifting from time to time. Watching old couples die together, seeing new ones bloom, I want to be like them. Falling in love with someone who will fall in love back, but I’m stuck and you are the only thing that keeps me traveling forward. A love that I can’t reach, but maybe in one reality you might find me in your arms.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Utah chapter.