We’ve all tried it. The social media detox, the cleanse, just the needed break from everyone and everything in your online presence. The first day is great — until someone mentions something you did not hear about. You re-download, and then maybe your cleanse will start next week. Or the week after.
I’m not going to lie, being social media-less for 9 months has had pros and cons for me, but the experience itself is more of what brought me a new perspective on how to approach social media.
The beginning:
- The FOMO, the posts, the people living their best lives while I cried for an hour straight over being homesick — it was all gone. It was only me and my closest friends who I cared about and made an effort to reach out to.
- But with that came a new type of FOMO — my friends would post on their social media, and mention major events in their lives that I had no idea about because I had deleted everything. I was playing catch-up when I really didn’t need to. I would re-download, and then instantly regret it.
- I was BORED. Every day used to be wake up, go through social media for an hour and then get up, or social media for an hour, then maybe sleep. The hours I would distract myself from awkward social situations or procrastinate doing my papers due at 11:59 pm were all empty and I felt this huge void of entertainment in my life.
- The feelings of urgency to post. Whenever I did anything with anyone or went anywhere out of the ordinary, I felt like I was doing my friends a disservice by not updating them on social media and sharing my experiences with them. I felt some form of obligation to update the world on my life, even though I lack a deep enough connection with probably 70% of my followers and really don’t care to share these intimate moments in my life with them.
The middle:
- Without posts from random high school peers or people I had talked to once flooding my feed, I was able to focus on building my current friendships and renewing old ones. I got to invest my time in sharing my experiences with those I knew cared, and who I truly wanted to talk to. I formed my own web of support from people that helped me feel more comfortable with not spilling my guts to the world.
- I still missed out on major events in my friend’s lives, and even in the world, but I discovered how to navigate this new FOMO. I checked in more often, asked for photos of their weekend, and learned to be okay with not knowing everything.
- I was still bored, but less so. Youtube took up a lot of my time, as well as my two jobs that I must have replaced my social media void with. I focused on my studies more and prioritized what was important in my life now and what I wanted to make of it. Not having social media allowed me to really start self-reflecting and growing without the pressure of sharing “how well I’m doing.”
- By the time I arrived at the “middle” period, I had many major life events occur, and I no longer felt the urge to post to tell the world how great I’m doing, but I began to see social media more just as a place to share positive experiences. One of my best friends from home came to visit, and I wanted to show the sweet things we did and the cute photos we took. I went to the Grand Tetons with my boyfriend and saw the most beautiful water and mountains I had ever seen. I wanted to share the film and digital photographs of the beauty of Wyoming. I got a DOG and I just wanted to show how cute she was!
The now:
- I have renewed and reconciled friendships and also come to realize that I am surprisingly not going to be a child forever because at some point I’m going to have to stop holding grudges and become a grown-ass adult when it comes to my own issues. I love my newly formed web and I love being able to focus on quality over quantity when it comes to friendships.
- I’ve changed my perspective on this “FOMO.” Even though I don’t get to see the beautiful pictures and cute captions immediately, it’s always an exciting time when I do eventually hear of these great moments in my friend’s lives. I don’t feel hurt or left out when I’m the last to know about something, because I get a more intimate description of the experience and get to talk one-on-one with someone I care about deeply.
- You don’t know how nice it is to sit in silence and do nothing but soak it in until you’re forced to. One of my most favorite things to do now is to walk my dog and bask in the silence and beauty of what surrounds me. There are so many little things you don’t notice when you consume yourself with social media. The kind neighbors you pass, the falling leaves glistening in the sun, the cute house that you wish could be your future — you never would have seen any of it if you were mindlessly scrolling and liking.
- I don’t feel an urgency to post anymore. I now treasure the photos that nobody will see except those that I choose to show. I feel as though I now can treasure the moments in my life that are kept between me and my loved ones. Because now, I get the luxury of sharing my experiences and my photos with the people who ask and the people who really care, not just the people who are there.
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely sound like a grandma for spouting about the joys of life with no internet, but it really is more enjoyable and more acceptable to live in the present when you do so.
I feel like, at the age of 19, we as humans are in a new phase of not only life but also the use of social media. When does it become “weird” for us to be updating our social media religiously, or when does it become “weird” for us to be posting on social media at all? When does it become a lifestyle versus a bad habit? There are so many nuances to social media that make growing up in this age with technology so much harder to navigate because nobody has done it before us!
I don’t know if I’ll quit social media for good. But I do know that I have gladly and willingly accepted social media with a new mindset, which reduces the anxiety and toxic tendencies it used to bring me. Maybe I’ll become a Facebook-er to update my family sometimes, but really all I want in my life now is joy, and when I get to a point where social media becomes a place of joy for me again, maybe I’ll partake.
For now, I am happy to say that I have quit social media and I am happier because of it. We all know how addicting social media can be, and this is a unique experience that may not be fitting for everyone, but if you’re considering it, I recommend it! Try to go a month cold turkey, and once you get past that point, it gets a lot easier than you’d think.