This topic has been on my mind a lot lately. In fact, so much so that I’ve it’s been leaking into the conversations I have with my friends. I didn’t grow up in Utah, however, I did grow up in the LDS (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) church. So I am what is considered a “Mormon.” And in my personal opinion, Utah is the hardest place to be a Mormon.
Now some people might look at this and scoff, “Well if it is so hard for you, why don’t you just leave the church?” I just want to set the record straight right now, I love my religion and I’m not trying to force it down anyone’s throat. However, there are some issues on how members are perceived to be that I want to address head on.
1. Utah Mormon Stereotype.
Before I even lived in Utah, I knew what a “Utah Mormon” was. They are the hard-headed, judgemental, looking down on everyone, always right, conservative, kind of people. At least, that’s the gist from what I knew and heard. In fact, the stereotype was so negative that when my dad told us he got stationed at the military base in Utah, I was devastated.
I didn’t want to be viewed as this type of person merely because I was Mormon. I am definitely a “roll with the punches” and chill with the people type of person. I don’t think of myself as better than anyone else because I’m not.
And I came to find out that this stereotype, like all stereotypes, is just a fast and easy way to categorize someone based on a group they are associated with. Meaning they aren’t cookie cutter, straight from the model people. They have different personalities and character traits, all different in their own way.
2. Culture Shock.
I believe that religion is a place where people can come together to find peace and happiness while being the best them they can be. It is about worshiping God or whatever/whomever you believe got this whole “living on Earth” thing started.
I belong to the LDS church because that’s where I feel the most peace and by following the guidelines put forward I am most happy. Again, this works for me.
However, I felt as if suddenly there were so many gray areas and stances to take in regards to the Church. Look, guys, I’m just here because this is my sanctuary from the craziness of the world, leave me out of your political rantings, please.
One of the biggest differences for the Church in Utah is the fact everyone seems to know what it’s about, well, for the most part. Not everyone knew what a Mormon was on the east coast and southern parts of the United States. To have everyone watching you just to see “how good of a Mormon are you?” is very exposing. It’s like I’m walking around naked. But without the whistles.
Also within the walls of the sanctuary, there is a culture shift. It’s almost as if people expect Mormon girls to marry a returned missionary at the age of 21 and have 5 kids by the time they are 24 or something is wrong with them. I understand the importance of having a family, but I am not going to create life just because someone expects me to. I already have to deal with finals, I can’t handle a baby at the same time.
Not everyone wants this lifestyle, and even if they do, not everyone wants it right away. It’s okay to breathe and find your own path.
3. Pressure for Perfection.
Now this whole culture of perfection thing, that ain’t me. I am so far from perfect, I could laugh about it. In fact, I do. People, both in and out of the LDS Church, seem to think that if you aren’t a “perfect Mormon” then you aren’t a Mormon at all. I don’t know when that became a thing, but I don’t like it.
I literally have had people ask me, “Are you a good Mormon? Because I’ve heard you swear, and Mormons don’t do that.” What the…? I’m guessing by asking if I’m a “good” Mormon, they are really asking if I am a flawless individual. Which obviously, I’m not.
Just because I am part of a Church that has high set guidelines and standards, does not mean that I’m perfect at following all of them. I’m only human. I mess up. That doesn’t make me a bad or good Mormon, that makes me a real person. Every day I strive to be a better person than I was before, not a perfect one.
4. Being “preachy”
I’ve received quite a few eye rolls when people found out I was Mormon. Because people automatically think I’m ready to condemn them to hell and tell them that my religion is the only religion and anyone who believes otherwise are Satan worshippers.
Whoa, hold up there Sparky, don’t jump to conclusions.
Sure, if you have questions, I’d be more than willing to answer them to the best of my ability, However, I’m not going to sit you down and shove my beliefs down your throat.
I will not get offended if you have different views or want to discuss differences. And I will also not get offended if you don’t want to talk about it. Just know that I’m not going to change what I believe just because you don’t like it.
5. I’m a Mormon, but I’m an individual.
I am a Star Wars enthusiast. A gamer girl. I’m a sister, daughter, friend, fiancée. I enjoy sarcasm, I’m known to get too passionate, and I speak louder than the average person. I’m a Mormon, but I’m so much more than that. No one, including me, should be defined by one word. I hope to never be easily defined.
These are just my personal thoughts, not relating to how Her Campus feels or how The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints feels. This is how I feel.
I feel like there are nice members and self-righteous members and I feel like there are rude people outside of the church and some of the sweetest people who don’t belong to my faith. But that’s just life, it comes in a large variety.
I am a Mormon because it makes me happy. And I think in the long run, we are all just doing what we can to find the happiness we think we deserve.