Maybe months have passed you by, possibly even years have come and gone since you’ve felt okay. Maybe you’ve spent so much time convincing others that you’re fine, you’ve forgotten that you aren’t. Maybe you’ve gotten use to playing this persona in front of a crowd, putting on your mask. But, no amount of time or going out with your friends fixes your numbness when you’re left alone.
So, what’s keeping you from going to therapy?
Fear.
Fear of (Acutally) Needing Therapy
A small part of you wants to walk in, sit down and hear from the therapist that you’re perfectly fine. Nothing is wrong. You don’t need medication or professional help. But, if you are reading this article, you, at least to some degree, believe you need help, but can’t seem to get yourself to do anything about it.
You tell yourself you’re too busy for something so trivial. You tell yourself “it’s just a phase” and it’s nothing to be dramatic about. Nothing to make a fiasco over. Why waste money on something you can fix yourself?
The truth? Maybe you’re terrified to admit that you aren’t doing as okay as you’re telling your family, friends and more importantly, yourself.
Bringing up the conversation feels a lot like surrendering. Asking your family if therapy is covered in the family’s health insurance plan, researching local clinics, scheduling the appointment, cancelling the appointment and then rescheduling it…all stems from realizing that you can’t fix yourself on your own. Allowing yourself to admit that something or someone hurt you enough to affect every decision you make (or don’t make) and emotion you feel (or bury) can be freeing feeling, but also hollowing. Raising up your white flag and reaching out for an extended hand shouldn’t feel like defeat, but it does.Â
Pride and the harsh judment society places on those who need mental help set up roadblocks up between those thinking about getting help and those who do. So, lets say you walk in, sit down and your true self floods the room. You share the dark, ugly, shameful thoughts you’ve been too scared to say out loud. What then? What if you turn out to be really sick? What if you need medication and regular sessions?
What if the therapist sees what you see?
The only question left to ask is: do these revelations make you any less? Having the courage to open up about what’s really going on inside your head is something should be commended, not incriminated. You’re one step closer to being free.
Fear of Being Ridiculed
The fear that your troubles wouldn’t taken seriously and not seen as a justifiable reason for therapy is scary enough to keep anyone from speaking up about what’s really going on inside their head. The idea that your hidden feelings and thoughts could be mocked or tossed aside by a professional because they think you’re being “dramatic” or “overly sensitive” is a big reason as to why you haven’t spoken up.
Your reason for being there is valid. You don’t need to defend your reasoning or create a PowerPoint presentation as to why you deserve to get help.
You aren’t taking someone’s spot who “really” needs it. You aren’t wasting someone’s time. Your feelings are justified.
Fear of No Solution
At last, you get there. You tell your story, the therapist recognizes your pain and then, you find out there’s no remedy. No quick fix, no resolution.
What if you’re left to live with this pain, forever? Could they offer you nothing besides,“it’ll all work itself out,” “just give it time,” or my personal favorite,“the answer has been inside of you all along.” If you could work it out on your own, you wouldn’t be here. Not all problems can be solved alone. Not all problems can be solved by simply talking about them. Some problems need to be treated more attentively.
The professionals’ job is to work for you. Help you get to your desired destination, to a place where you find peace. They are there to provide you things you can’t give yourself.
Asking for help is scary, getting help isn’t.
Do this for yourself. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be heard.
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