Friends Are Not Easy to Come By

Was college what I expected it to be? 

To be completely honest — no, not at all. All the guidance, college tours, and advice may have helped me before I actually began college, but nothing really prepares you for the actual experience.

I have learned a lot in these four years, and although it has been hard, I wouldn’t have wanted it to end any other way. 

One of the first and most valuable things I learned was that friends are not easy to come by.

I attended a college-prep high school where I was taught how to apply for colleges, how to write scholarship essays, how apply for financial aid, and so much more. By simply taking a college preparation course during my senior year, I thought I was fully ready to transition to college. I didn’t envision the transition being a hard one, but I quickly learned that this assumption was incorrect.

Freshman Year 

I decided to live at home, which was about 20-30 minutes away from campus, for my freshman year. I thought it would be the easiest living situation in my case, but I also wasn’t ready to move out either. With my living situation, I found that I wasn’t fully immersing myself into campus life. No one really tells you that making friends will be difficult when you don’t live on campus. Throughout my first semester there were a few people that I would occasionally talk to in class and work on assignments with, but that was pretty much it. I was struggling to create the new social life I had wanted since high school due to the fact that my graduating class was only 80 other students. I remember going to class everyday, sitting in lectures, and going home right after. It felt like a job to me, and the more my days began to look the same with little to no interaction with other students, I knew I needed to make a change. 

Friends are not easy to come by, and it is even harder when you are a shy and anxious freshman. I remember my sister sending me an announcement about Her Campus Utah accepting new writers applications. I thought this would be a good opportunity because I’ve loved to write since middle school and I also wanted to be a part of something. Plus, I was hoping to meet people with the same interests as me. So with that, I filled out the application, was accepted, and attended my first Her Campus Utah chapter meeting. 

While I was there, I was able to meet so many girls with the same interests and hobbies as me. It was the first time I actually felt a sense of friendship in college. I realized that friendships could only be made if I actually put myself out there. It was a hard process for me since I lacked good communication skills, but throughout the rest of the year, I pushed myself to talk more — both at school and at my job. And because of that, I was able to work on being more comfortable and confident in social settings. 

Sophomore Year 

After the summer and having a break from classes, it was finally time to go back. By this point, it was the 2019 fall semester and I decided that I would go through formal sorority recruitment. It was an overwhelming experience, to say the least, but I went in with an open mind and made it my goal to talk more and put myself out there. 

Having this mindset was beneficial for me in the end — I made great friends on the first day that I still keep in touch with to this day. They showed me kindness and made me excited for what was to come. In the end, I joined Pi Phi and I can honestly say that it has been one of the best choices I’ve made during my college experience. 

The new member process was quite time-consuming and difficult because making honest connections with the girls took time. It wasn’t until spring of 2020 that I actually began to hang out with some girls outside of our sorority events. 

Since then, I have made my best and closest friends that I can’t live without. I finally became hopeful that I would gain strong friendships in college and I never would have thought I’d be living and talking with them just about every day. I’m thankful Pi Phi brought Sarah, Haley, Cassy, Lauren, and so many other friends into my life. 

In my second year as a college student, I pushed myself to talk more in class, and through that, I made another friend I could not live without. As a pre-business major, I had to take a set of courses before being admitted into the program, one of them being a public speaking class. I was terrified of public speaking and I even contemplated dropping the class and taking it later on. It’s a good thing I didn’t. Our professor pushed us to talk and even assigned us specific tables to sit at so that we could get to know each other better. On my first day in class, I met one of my best friends — Lindsay. I don’t remember how and why we started talking, but progressively throughout the semester it became normal for us to talk about the most random things. She understood my humor and I was so thankful for that.

Sadly, after our spring break, COVID-19 caused our school to go online so I wasn’t able to see the friends I had made that year. But one thing that I realize looking back is that the pandemic actually made these relationships stronger. 

Junior Year

I didn’t know what to expect once I went into my third year of college, especially with the uncertainty of the pandemic. Surprisingly, I found a way to keep my friendships strong even during COVID. 

Through Lindsay, I was introduced to her roommates — Hadley, Mary, and her other close friends that I now consider my friends too. Once it became safer to see people, we would hang out often — basically every weekend it felt like. They were fun and easy to get along with and I think my favorite part overall was getting to know everyone better. I remember our conversations being the best and most random. I found these connections to be comforting because I was feeling okay with being myself whether it was my humor, the way I suck at telling stories because I can never concentrate, or how I’m not the best player when it comes to Mario Kart. 

One memorable experience that I have from my junior year was spring break. Although our school didn’t give us one, our friends planned a trip to Lake Havasu for the week. It was definitely out of my comfort zone because I had never gone on a trip with friends but looking back at it, I’m so glad I did. Our road trip consisted of laughing, singing along to the songs we love, and just catching up with each other. The eight hours went by fast and soon we arrived at our rental home where six of our other friends met us. During those four days I truly made the best memories. We had such a fun time and once we got back, I would see them often and it was and still is a great time when I’m around them. 

At the end of junior year, I decided it was time to move out since it would be my last year. Along with Sarah and Haley, we started looking for houses and were lucky enough to find one right by campus. 

Senior Year 

This year I made it my mission to make the best of my last year. Since moving out, I’ve found myself to be more confident in social situations and even in class, which translated to my friendships too. I’m at a point where I feel optimistic about my relationships and have become a better person because of them. I’ve learned so much about myself just because of my friendships with certain people, and in turn they’ve taught me valuable lessons and given me great advice. 

Living with Sarah and Haley has made my senior year my favorite year of all. I’ve met so many people that I am happy to have in my life and I’ve had some of the most memorable times this year. From staying in and having movie nights or binging Real Housewives to dressing up and going to Utah football games, every part of this year has been what I’ve wanted.

Freshman year me would probably not believe how her life has turned out. I’m so content with how I’m ending my undergraduate experience. 

It’s hard to make friends, and that realization was challenging to deal with. On top of college already being difficult, one should have a support system. The biggest takeaway from my four years here is that it’s good to be uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable makes you learn. I found myself in these uncomfortable situations when I hated public speaking, when I would avoid conversations, and when I had to put myself out there. Only good things have come from me being open to learning and changing. If there’s any advice I could give to freshman me, it would be to not be so hard on yourself and to talk more — people will want to hear it.