Have you ever been asked on a date with someone, and you just aren’t interested? It’s not that they are unattractive or not charming, you just merely aren’t interested. Maybe you like being single, or your work schedule just isn’t flexible enough for dating, or maybe you have a thing for someone else! What did you say? If you responded did you say, “yeah of course!” because you didn’t want to be rude? I get it, it’s rough. You don’t want to be rude to the person, but you also don’t want to go on that date. Besides, it takes a lot of courage to ask someone else on a date and it can really hurt getting rejected.
Have you ever gone out socializing with friends even when your plan was to stay at home and snuggle with Netflix? You already put on your pajamas, jumped underneath the blankets, and pulled up your laptop to turn on your favorite tv show. Your phone is sitting there next to you, charging, and then it beeps. It’s your best friend telling you to get ready and meet at her place in 15 minutes. But you’re already super comfy. What do you do? How do you respond? Do you say, “YES! Time to party!” because it’s your best friend and maybe saying no would leave her all alone? So much for your night in bed with yourself. Trust me, I’ve been there too.
One of the many problems in our society is that it teaches girls and women to be nice and respectful. We should take our cake, and eat it too because it’s being offered to us and we shouldn’t offend anyone. Well, I don’t know about you all, but I actually don’t like cake; so who am I offending other than myself by eating it? Saying, “yes” to a date because you didn’t want to be rude isn’t nice, it is rude. You could be leading them on by going on a date with them, and you are lying to yourself and them. I’m not saying that it is easy, being honest is sometimes the hardest thing to do. But if you sincerely don’t want to go on a date, or you don’t want to go to that party, or you just don’t like cake, respect yourself to say “no.”
You are your own body, you make your own choices, it’s important to listen to you. It’s scary making choices, and it’s scary being honest, but it’s empowering when you know you made the choice that best fits how you feel. People may question, “why did you say no!?” and they might try to beg you to change your answer. Guess what? Emotions cannot be negotiated, and how you feel is super legitimate. It’s time for all of us to trust our instincts, and if our instincts are saying “no,” then treat yo’self to some respect and a night in! This whole “being nice and respectful,” doesn’t involve being nice and respectful to ourselves. But it’s time that it did!
It isn’t going to be easy, it takes a while to completely listen to yourself and say how you feel. That’s okay. Respecting yourself is a continual process, it never goes away. But it’s worth it. It allows for complete honesty and total control of your life. So don’t be afraid to say, “hey not tonight, but thank you for the invite!” At the end of the day, you decide your own happiness. If saying “no” to a date or to a party or to eating some cake is going to improve your night by even a little bit . . . treat yo’self with respect!