My boyfriend is preparing for his second deployment, while I sit uselessly and holding back my tears. Having a partner in the military is a new version of the word “hard.” It comes with an alternative sense of joy when I see him and a newfound respect for all military families but it also came with a few quirks, the unexpected lessons I learned from being an Army girlfriend.
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1. Much to the dismay of my parents I picked up his sailor mouth.
I drop the F-bomb like it’s the word “hello.” I hardly realize I do it anymore until some random mother in the grocery store starts shooting me dirty looks.
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2. I learned the phonetic alphabet. Not ironically either, I learned it to make communication easier with him. It helps being able to understand what he’s talking about from time to time.
3. I learned how to Google things quickly so I can always understand what he’s talking about. I’ve said I had to pee when truly I had to Google something.
4. I learned military time and no longer have that lull when I’m trying to convert time. It’s easy guys just add 12!
5. I know most of his buddies by their last name. Whenever he gets a snapchat from a “Luke” it always throws me off for a second.
6. I know the value of patience and what it truly means to be strong. I learned to put his feelings before my own. Yeah, it sucks he’s going to be away but he’s the one in some scary place. I’m sitting at home watching Netflix while he’s living in some storage container. I am fine. He’s the one I’m worried about.
7. Sleep is for the weak. When you have a 10-hour time difference you start to wake up early and go to sleep late just to be able to talk for an hour or two. Â
8. He has an internal alarm clock. No matter where we are he will wake up around 0800. Even if we go to sleep at 0200 he will wake me up with him on accident at 0800.
9. When he’s on leave he has so many other people to see besides me. I get to see my friends whenever I want. He gets 2 weeks every so often to see everyone in his life. During this time you have to understand you won’t come first.
10. I never come first. His job is first. It has been this way our entire relationship. I’m not complaining. I know what I signed up for. I respect him for all the sacrificing he has made. My job is to make things easier on him when I can, never the opposite.
11. It sucks having to tell people where your boyfriend is all the time. Especially when you can’t specifically tell them where he is. No one ever seems to get that I only see him when he’s on leave. I don’t pick and choose. I am lucky whenever he has leave.
12. You will spend many lonely nights thinking, “Why did I do this?” Then you’ll get that simple text from him telling you he loves you and you’re reminded as to why he has your heart.
13. I can’t watch soldier surprise coming home videos without bawling my eyes out. No matter what. It doesn’t matter who they’re coming home to–mom, dad, girlfriend, husband, child, dog, turtle. I will sob.
14. I can’t watch any emotional soldier video unless I want to drown myself.
15. Nobody will get it unless they have been through it.
Round two.
Let’s do this.