Unsolicited Comments and What You Can Do to Stop Them

Recently, I took a TRAX ride home to visit my family for the weekend. Thinking I could catch up on some homework, I pulled out my copy of Time Machine for some entertainment during the 40 minute ride. While I was immersed in the Time Traveler’s tale of meeting the Eloi and his thoughts on the Marlocks, I was startled to hear a “Your hair is really pretty” from a middle-aged businessman who was exiting the train around Central Pointe. As I am sure many women can relate, my head began filling with questions for this man, ranging from “doesn’t he have better things to do with his time?” and “he couldn’t just get off the train without having to interrupt me?”

After considering the situation over and over again, I wanted to hear other women’s experiences with unsolicited ‘compliments’ on public transportation. Their responses range from the creepy, to the weird, to the just plain bizarre. Here are some of them: 

“On the TRAX when this hobo sat next to me and told me I was pretty and asked for a picture.” – Jade

“This random kid I didn’t know kept trying to get me to go a play or a football game with him.” – Alexa

“[Someone] said I look like a cute nine year old (I was 15)”. – Alyssa

“[I was told] ‘you’re so pretty, you could be a prostitute’.” – Abby

Though these comments are alarming to say the least, the most discouraging part of unsolicited complimenting is that it’s common. Ask any woman, and she is bound to have some sort of story where a similar comment as those stated above was made–whether she was on public transportation, at the mall, walking down the street, or even at a dinner function. 

Though I could go on and explore the topic on unsolicited commenting and why it should stop for five more articles, the point I wish to hit home is this: don’t let yourself be someone’s comment story. Seriously– do you want to be remembered as the person who told someone that they could be a prostitute because they were that pretty? 

So, when the gentleman left the train, the one who commented on my “pretty hair,”  the girl next to me glanced in his direction,  made a quick comment of “weirdo” to me, and then continued her conversation. This leads to my second point: if you see a fellow sister being commented on, hit on, or harassed- no matter how benign the comment may be – keep an eye out. Invite her to sit with you, share a smile, or just look at the commenter with a “really, honey?”Because the only thing better than having creepy men NOT hit on you, is having a fellow woman stand up for your right to be left alone. 

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