There are two types of men in this world: men who like going down on women—aka enjoy pleasuring their partner, and men who don’t like going down—aka men who DISLIKE pleasuring their partner. I have encountered each of these kinds of men and I started wondering about the type of men who don’t and the type of men who do. Some men just complain about it and say “it’s just not their thing,” but then beg you to give them a blow job! How is any of that acceptable?Â
Foreplay is an essential part of one’s sex life. Sex is not just penetration, sex has so many different aspects to it. Some men out there like to skip the foreplay and get right to it. This is just a clear indicator that they only care about pleasuring themselves. Most men orgasm through penetrative sex and only 25-30% of females can reach climax during intercourse. Being that the vagina and surrounding area is so complex, there is more to be done during sex than just worrying about vaginal penetration.Â
I’ve come up with two reasons why men don’t like going down on women. The first? They’re lazy! Yes, that’s right, lazy. They seem to be in such a rush to get to the “actual sex” or the part where they feel good that they completely ignore the fact that they’re in bed with a person who also has needs! Sometimes they’ll go down but will only for a few minutes and then say “this is taking forever.” When it comes to them, though, they take whatever time they need and fail to think about the double standard at hand. My second reason is that they just don’t care about their partner. If you care about your partner, you are going to want to please them and you enjoy seeing them pleased. Thus, refusing to do something that pleases your partner doesn’t only make you selfish but shows that you have no affection for the person you’re with.
Now, shout out to the wonderful men out there who enjoy going down and enjoy making their partner happy. I had a wonderful sex experience lately, yes TMI, where he decided to go down on me for 30 minutes! I have already climaxed once and this wonderful boy decided to do it again. I’ve obviously been dating the wrong men because to find someone who cared about your needs and wanted you to be satisfied was a whole new experience for me. He didn’t even worry about if I got to him, whereas most men I’ve dealt with would make sure they had their turn. All he cared about was me and what I wanted. This showed me that the men who don’t like going down are just making up excuses as to why they don’t want to spend time and attention on their partner and their needs. In my experience, the men who do this are the same men who not only neglect your needs in the bedroom but in the actual relationship.Â
I was talking about this subject with my aforementioned partner and discussing what the difference is between men who do and don’t like going down. His answer? Misogyny. The more I thought about it the more I realized how right he was. Maybe you’re all thinking that’s a stretch but it’s definitely a valid point. The man’s orgasm has been ranked to a higher priority than the woman’s for who knows how long. That’s still occurring today with men putting themselves first in every way, especially in the bedroom. Some repressed part of their mind that society has molded told them that their priorities and pleasure mean more. For a man to ask for head and not want to go down on a girl (@ DJ Khalid) is straight-up misogynistic and a double standard. However much attention and care a man gives you in the bedroom will most likely affect the relationship and vice-versa.
So girls, guys, and anyone out their whose partner refuses to do something that pleases them but asks that of you: leave them!