When Can We Talk About Rape?

On June 30, 2003, Kobe Bryant checked into the Cordillera Lodge and Spa. He was supposed to have knee surgery in a nearby clinic. He was led to his room by the 19-year-old concierge and asked her to return for a private tour of the property, to which she obliged. Bryant then invited her into his room where the two started kissing. What happened next has been disputed between Bryant and the woman. The woman claimed that Bryant raped her. Bryant claimed that the sex was consensual.   

A year later the case dropped and the two settled a civil suit in 2005. The exact details remain unknown, but Bryant did issue a public apology in which he stated: “Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognize now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way I did.”

There’s no doubt that Kobe Bryant is beloved by many people. I can’t ignore his contributions to society, but I also can’t ignore this case. He said that he recognizes that the woman did not view the situation as consensual, but if she did not see it as consensual then it was rape. A lot of people don’t want to talk about it. Reporter Felicia Somnez from the Washington Post was recently suspended over her tweets about Bryant’s rape case following his death and is now receiving death threats. 

This all leads me to the question: when is it okay to talk about rape? Supposedly we can’t talk about rape when the rapist is alive because it could ruin the rapist’s life, but now we can’t talk about rape when the rapist is dead it’s disrespectful because it could ruin the rapist’s legacy. It’s starting to sound like we’re just never supposed to talk about rape. 

So I say the time to talk about rape is always. Reporting a rapist when they’re alive doesn’t ruin their reputation, it just makes their reputation more truthful. Talking about a rapist after they’ve died isn’t tasteless and disrespectful, it just makes their legacy more accurate. 

A rapist is a rapist. And while thousands of people are running to social media to remember the basketball star as a hero, there is one woman out there who was violated by him. As she was being raped by him he choked her. Every time she said “no” he only tightened his grip further. She went through invasive probing of her personal life and body through the police, hospital, and court systems. Everyone shamed her for supposedly having sex 15 hours before the assault, but no one wanted to talk about how he cheated on his wife months after giving birth. He put this woman through unspeakable torment and humiliation that no one should ever have to face. So while I feel for the families and loved ones of the victims who died in the helicopter crash. I feel for the woman whom he raped as well.

Photo Credit: 1, 2

• rape
• Rape Culture
• rapist
• silence