Throughout my life, I have appeased others by sacrificing myself. I began noticing it in smaller instances, such as allowing others to talk over me. And then I began noticing it in bigger instances, such as apologizing for things I have no control over in order to pacify someone else.
Why I did these things, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s my natural impulse to please others, or maybe it’s my passive way of avoiding confrontation. Why bother to waste the time taking up space or exhausting myself fighting over “trivial” matters when I could just take the easy route out?
This is a miserable way to look at life. Permitting others to walk all over you should never be considered a way to make people happy, especially if it is at the expense of your own well-being. Allowing acute timidness takes its toll on a person eventually, and sooner or later, you find yourself a shell of a human being whose vocabulary consists of placid yeses and gentle head nods.
There is nothing wrong with speaking your mind, and there is nothing wrong if you disagree with others. Voicing your opinions has become so taboo these days that it’s considered too intense, too loud, and too much. Well, that’s nonsense if I’ve ever heard it.
Many individuals take up a lot of space. Not physically, but figuratively, in their actions, their words, and their beliefs. There is nothing wrong with that, but I’ve learned that just because they take up a lot space does not mean that I deserve any less. I should not have to feel small in order for someone else to feel big.
I’ve made the personal decision to speak up if something is on my mind because if I can’t effectively communicate then, I am truly set up for failure.
As cliche as it sounds, “ I will not light myself on fire to keep others warm,” because at the end of the day, I have to be happy with the person that I am.