I had never been anywhere that I didn’t like until I stepped foot in Paris, France. I sat on the plane beyond excited to be there after dreaming about “Paris” since I was 8. I imagined stepping off the runway and being greeted by romance and beauty around every corner. However, when I stepped off, I was sorely disappointed.
I was instead greeted by many rude Parisians and even ruder streets. I had heard that the people were a bit harsh but it was worse than I had imagined. I felt uncomfortable and wondered “What is wrong with me? Everyone else loves Paris so why can’t I?” I felt out of place and un-entertained on the streets of Paris.
Don’t get me wrong, Paris is a beautiful place and the people were absolutely gorgeous. But, it wasn’t at all what other travelers had told me it was. I had created an image of how I thought I would feel and I had to find that feeling; I was desperate to find that ‘Parisian Magic’. I saw the Eiffel Tower and the l’Arc de Triomphe but I felt no bond created between the ‘City of Lights’ and me. Having loved every place I had traveled so far, I was disappointed when I left and couldn’t help but blame myself.
The entire trip was a very eye opening experience. I realized that being a traveler doesn’t mean you need to love every place that you visit, in fact, it’s more of an opportunity to learn who you are by figuring out what things you love and what things you hate. I also think it is a part of the traveler’s responsibility to be open and honest about these feelings to both yourself and others. At first, I actually felt ashamed by the fact that I didn’t enjoy Paris. Nevertheless, when I returned home and my friends asked me how I liked it, I was honest.
What happened was surprising. I either got instant backlash and criticism from people who said I “did Paris wrong” or I actually found that some people agreed with me. One of my best friends from high school had visited Paris the summer before and had “really enjoyed it” but when I opened up and told him my honest opinions about the city he actually ended up agreeing. He hadn’t really liked Paris much either but had never mentioned it because it’s almost taboo to not enjoy what others deem the greatest place in the world.
I’ve noticed this often when people discuss travel. My hope is that we will begin to realize that not enjoying certain destinations is just a part of being human. Everyone is different so of course we’re going to disagree on the places we like and dislike! Some love staying in hostels and others like hotels, neither makes you more of a ‘traveler’ than the other because what’s important is that you are out seeing the world.
You should be traveling for yourself. There is no shame in favoring some cities or places more than others. It helps me when other travelers are open and honest about what cities are really like. It’s okay that I didn’t fall in love with Paris! It’s nothing against the people or the city because it was just my experience. Maybe I bumped into Parisians who were having a bad day or picked the wrong hotel, so many factors can play into the overall experience you have when you travel. Gertrude Stein once said that “American is my country, but Paris is my hometown.” She was completely in love with Paris, it filled her with joy and a feeling of being at home. But it’s also okay to not be in love with Paris. It’s okay to return from a trip and never want to step foot in that place again! That’s just a part of the experience.
And isn’t that why we travel? To create experiences? Maybe one day if I return to Paris my experience will evolve and I will fall in love with the ‘magical’ city like others before me have. Until then, I will be an unashamed traveler willing to speak her mind. Because bad experiences often make the good ones even better.
“Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.” -Anthony Bourdain