Around the time my boyfreind and I decided to move in together, articles such as, “Why I Won’t Move in With my Significant Other Before Marriage” seemed to be popping up everywhere. I was tempted to psych myself out and read all the reasons why I shouldn’t make my decision, but I am a fan of jumping in with both feet, so instead, I sought to enhance my excitement. When you are about to move in with your man, you want to hear the positives, right? I began to look for articles that spoke about why I should move in with my SO and I didn’t find what I was hoping for, most are realted to marriage and I was just enjoying the ride, not the destination. If you are in what was my position, you came to the right place.
*If religion permits living together before marriage, this article can also be read as simply why it is great to live with someone you love.*
Bae and I didn’t have a sit down talk or large moment; marriage wasn’t even a topic of conversation. We were very in love, adored being together and the universe had made a clear path for this experience to happen. I had dreamt about the day I would share the same home as my significant other and that dream came true before him and I were married. Here is why I recommend doing the same.
Financial Benefits
I am going to start with the first and foremost reason it is great to move in with your boyfriend: you save money you didn’t realize you were spending!
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Budgets can be tight and sometimes interfere in relationships. Moving in together is a nice relief to spend less money on gas driving to and from each other’s place. It is also nice to not have to decide who is hosting dinner. We definitely cooked more together with food that we bought together, rather than going out or one person paying for all the ingredients. I also began to realize it was silly to spend money on rent at a place I spent maybe half of my time at, plus packing and unpacking overnight bags can become exhausting. It was so much better to be home than anywhere else so we turned it into everything we needed and could do cute dinners inside tents because why not?
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You Grow So Many New Branches
I learned how to be more selfless and incorporate my life into someone else’s on a deeper level.
Rather than a “chore chart” that can be infamous at houses shared with a group of girls, we had to compromise how we were going to help each other out. You discover so much about each other as well as yourself. University of Utah graduate Hannah Lawrence quotes, “the biggest reason it was so good for our relationship is because it forced us to be ourselves much quicker. Zach and I moved in together about 2 months into dating. We lived in a tiny studio apartment. It was a great way to have to become more comfortable with him.” Opening oneself to the perosn you love is a growing experience. It is incredible how beautiful the realationship can grow when home is a place you share.
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“Home” Has an Intimate Blissful Ring to it
There will be no sound that gives you the feeling of one-thousand butterflies exploding in your stomach than the sound of your person turning the key into the home you share together and walking through the front door.
Each time I came home (and he was home), I knew a warm embrace was waiting for me and the world would seem to melt away once the door closed behind me. Hearing, “I am happy you’re home,” filled my entire being with sparkles.
When your home is associated with your heart, there is no better place to feel completely safe. Â
It’s an Adventure
This new world consists of sunny days in paradise, earthquakes, hurricanes and peaceful rainstorms. Navigating through all of is one of the greatest adventures I’ve ever been on. Some adventures are bigger than others, one might be the time you think it’s a great idea to spend over $200 at Costco, or the excitement of a new steam mop.
Some memoires don’t have words, but there are moments that compare to those I felt when I was sky diving in Hawaii or looking at the Milky Way underneath the delicate arch, they are irreplacable and all happened within the walls of our apartment.
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It is Liberating
I often noticed a feeling of sweet liberation while sharing a home with my boyfriend. I have lived with roommates that I have been open with in the past, but the level of comfort you have with the person you love is at a whole other level. There is not a bodily function, emotion or habit that isn’t open between you two. He is going to learn a lot about the female body, you are going to learn a lot about his digestive system and it is going to be great.
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Looking back on my experience, there are realizations I wish I had known before it ended. Such as, don’t take it so seriously. This is a huge learning experience, and rather than fighting about mistakes, absorb them and learn what can happen better next time. Take space if you need it, go to a friend’s or a coffee shop when things heat up and don’t seem to be cooling down; sharing a space can sometimes have a lot of pressure.
Many articles related to moving in your SO or not to move in with your SO are intertwined with marriage. Although that is important, it is refreshing to disassociate from such a heavy topic and embrace the reasons why it can be such an amazing chapter in your life, even if it comes to an end.
The comfortable, fulfilling, blissful memories that were made in B and my home are ones I wouldn’t trade the world for. If it seems to be the right time at the right place, I highly suggest taking the leap.