The holidays are upon us, and that means it’s time to sip hot chocolate with your SO while cuddling to reruns of your favorite shows. However, to all the forever alone people out there like myself, that’s not going to be me this holiday season… and probably not the next, either. Therefore, I have put together a list of the cringiest date stories from my family, friends, and coworkers so that this season we can be glad to be #foreveralone.
1. The Little-Too-Touchy Friend of a Friend
“My best friend invited me to go to the movies with her and her boyfriend and one of her boyfriend’s friends. We show up at the movies and this guy is the ugliest guy (#sorrynotsorry) I have ever laid my eyes on. Of course, we chose to watch a scary movie and I’m not one of those people that usually gets scared by them, but the creepy music still makes me jump. So, I’m sitting in the movie theater with a class A weirdo and every time I jump out of my seat he puts his hand on my leg. Gross.”
-Sandy
2. The Unintentional Blind Date
“My co-worker, her boyfriend, her boyfriend’s friend, and I went to go play pool. When I got there, I was under no impression that this was any type of date. However, he didn’t seem to think the same. From the moment we got there, he paid for me to get in. Then when we were playing pool, he tried to teach me how to play even though I was beating him. Like boy, how about no. At the end of the night, he walked me to my car and the last thing he said was “let’s get together again and brush up on your pool skills.” Excuse me? Boy, bye.”
-Mary
3. Tinder Mistake 1
“So I had been talking to this guy on Tinder and he asked to meet up with me at a bar. I showed up looking all pretty in a cute dress with my hair and makeup done and he showed up in freaking flip flops. Strike 1. Then as we were sitting, he started talking about doing cocaine and wanting to do cocaine with me. Strike 2. I got up for a second to go to the restroom and I was really considering leaving but then I called my friend and she convinced me to at least be polite and finish the date. So I went back out there and he asked me if I wanted to go do something else. When I asked him what he meant, he literally said, ‘Well, I can’t think of any PG-13 things to do this late.’ I was like okay, bye.”
-Reyna
4. Tinder Mistake Take 2
“I’m not like a super tall girl, I’m probably like 5’6 or so, which is why I was surprised when my Tinder date was like an entire half of a foot shorter than me. So I kind of understood his confusion when at the end of the night he kissed me when I was really going in for a hug.”
-Reyna
5. The Babysitting Family
“My family is very traditional, so when I got asked out on a date they all came along. There we were, on our first date, walking through the mall, hand-in-hand with the mob that is my family right behind us.”
-Gina
6. The Missing Finger
“This guy I met maybe once before asked me to go to the movies. I was really excited because I was really into this guy. We watched the movie and it went great. When we walked out of the movie theater, I reached for his hand and I was trying to waffle him and then I realized he was missing his middle finger.”
-Sarah
7. The Creep Who Should Have Never Been Given a Phone
“I had had a crush on this guy all summer after we volunteered at the hospital together. The last day of our volunteering program he took me to get ice cream and he was on his phone the entire time. So we were just sitting there in silence when I got a text from him, who mind you was sitting right across from me, saying ‘hey.’”
-Mary
There ya have it! I hope those cringe-worthy stories have made you feel a bit better about being alone this holiday season. Besides, having all the blankets, the whole entire bed to yourself, AND getting to choose what to watch on Netlfix sounds SO much better than sharing with someone else, doesn’t it?