T-minus two months until graduation and I’m not ready. At the beginning of the semester I felt good enough to go and conquer the “real world”. I apartment-hunted, applied for jobs, bought interview outfits. Now, I’m clinging to every second I have at UVA. I want to write papers, to take exams, to pull all-nighter at the library; anything that will keep me feeling like a college student. Alas, it’s time to face the music that for the Class of 2016, our time here is coming to a bittersweet end. Here are my top 5 reasons of why I’m not ready for this…
1. People Work On Fridays
I haven’t worked on Fridays in four years. As a first year, I took a personal vow to never take a Friday class. Despite the scoffs and cynicism from advisors, mission accomplished. To top it off I’ll probably be expected to wake up before 2 p.m., which I haven’t done in a year. I’m in for a literal rude awakening.
2. Dependent On My Parents
I have to call my mom to diagnose any ailment I have. In the real world, adults can figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it. I have not yet evolved this instinct. “Mom, why is one half of my face warmer than the other?” or “Mom, why is my pinky twitching?” are not questions real world adults have to call their moms for.
3. I Can’t Cook
I don’t know how to cook. Try as I might, but I’m convinced I don’t have it in me. I screw up microwave macaroni. How does one mess up microwave macaroni? I don’t know, but I do. That being said, real world adults don’t eat microwave macaroni so that really cuts down on my culinary capabilities.
4. I Get Anxiety When Talking To Strangers
I get anxiety attacks about talking to strangers on the phone. I had to make an appointment at Student Health and it required an hour rehearsal and written script before I could make the call. Why can’t texting doctor’s appointments or customer service be a thing?
5. Yoga Pants > Other Pants
I’m too used to wearing yoga pants as real pants. I was lulled in by the ease of throwing on a pair of yoga pants my second year and have been an active wearer ever since. Real world adults can’t wear yoga pants to work, unless you are in fact a yoga instructor. After graduation it will be a cruel world of uncomfortable pants and I’m just not ready for that adjustment.
Here’s to hoping once I make that fateful walk down the Lawn on May 21st, that all of my fears and worries suddenly vanish. If all else fails, I’ll fall back to my original plan of staying here at UVA and living in a false reality #collegeforever.