I don’t know who needs to hear this, but store bought WAP is perfectly acceptable and (presumably) still Cardi B and Megan approved. DAP, otherwise known as vaginal dryness, is common among people of all ages with vaginas. Vaginal dryness can be caused by a multitude of factors, such as antidepressants, hormonal birth control (especially estrogen-progesterone combination pills), anti-estrogen medicine used to treat fibroids or endometriosis, allergy and cold medicines, radiation or chemotherapy, cigarette smoking, and alcohol consumption. Your mental health also plays a huge role in your WAP (or lack thereof); anxiety, depression, and excess stress can all lead to reduced natural lubrication. You can read more about what causes dryness in this article from Healthline. It’s important to note that if you’re experiencing new or worsened dryness or discomfort, it’s good to talk to your gynecologist about it to rule out anything particularly bad. Student Health at UVA has a great gynecology department that will totally help you out with any concerns (s/o to my ride-or-die, Dr. Christianson). Regardless of why you’re experiencing DAP, we can all agree that it’s not comfortable, especially during sex. Vaginal dryness during sex can result in discomfort, burning, or even tearing. Unfortunately, because sexual health as a whole is highly stigmatized, talking about dryness with your partner or even gynecologist can feel embarrassing or weird. I promise you, just because you might not be serving macaroni in a pot, that doesn’t mean you can’t be a certified freak, seven days a week. All you need is a lube that you like and communication with your partner (although lube can be great for individual work too).
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Before we get too far into it, there are some important rules of thumb and background knowledge regarding lubricants. Firstly, you’re going to want to avoid parabens, glycerin, alcohol, and petrochemicals because they can cause irritation, yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis (BV), and just general discomfort. If you’re reading off the back of the bottle, avoid these: glycerin, nonoxynol-9, petroleum, propylene glycol, and chlorhexidine gluconate. It’s generally a good idea to steer clear of numbing or warming lubes because the ingredients can cause the aforementioned outcomes, as well as the fact that numbing keeps you from feeling pain, but pain is your body’s way of saying something’s wrong (Yes K-Y jelly, I’m looking at you). You can read more about ingredients to avoid in this article from Prevention.com.
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It’s also good to understand the different types of lubricants before going lube shopping: water, silicone, and oil-based. Personally, I think water-based is usually the way to go. It’s easy to wash off, it doesn’t degrade latex condoms (VERY important), it’s typically non-irritating, and it usually doesn’t have a weird taste (and lets be real, that’s something you have to consider). The downside of water-based lube is that it can require multiple reapplications; however, they’ve gotten a lot better and can be pretty long lasting. “Aloe-based” lubes have become popular recently and those are still considered water-based. Silicone-based lubes are known for being slippery, long-lasting, non-irritable (silicone is hypoallergenic), and particularly useful for the pool or shower. They are, however, sticky and hard to clean up. There’s also a bit of a debate if they can degrade silicone toys, but there’s not a ton of proof of that. Oil-based lubes are typically not recommended because they often include parabens, glycerin, petrochemicals, etc. and can alter vaginal pH (something you don’t want to mess with). Most importantly, oil-based lubricant breaks down latex condoms. I know some people who swear by coconut oil, especially for sensitive skin, but it has been shown that it can alter vaginal pH, so experiment at your own risk. The bottom line is that different things work for different people, but make sure to know the potential outcomes of each type. Healthline has a great article called “Everything You Need to Know About Vaginal Lubricants” that I got a lot of information for this article from if you’re interested in doing further research.
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Let’s get into what you’re here for: what lube should I try for my DAP? To answer this question, I filled my browsing history with different lubes just for you guys (my Amazon recommended products are going to just be lube for the next 3 months). Keep reading to find your new favorite lubricant and you’ll be parking that big Mack truck right in that little garage in no time.
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- #LubeLife: water-based; 4.3/5 stars with over 18,000 ratings
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Let’s just start off with the #1 best seller in sexual lubricants on Amazon, #LubeLife. It’s water-based, long-lasting, hypoallergenic, compatible with latex and non-latex condoms, and completely free of parabens, glycerin, silicone, and oil. It’s not sticky or tacky and is really easy to clean up. It comes in flavorless, flavored, and CBD varieties, and it’s also really affordable. #LubeLife (8 oz) lists at $12, but is currently on sale for $8 on Amazon.
- Ăśberlube: silicone-based; 4.5/5 stars with over 3,000 ratings
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Also a highly rated lubricant, Ăśberlube only has two ingredients: silicone and vitamin E. It’s non-irritating and shouldn’t affect your vaginal biome or pH levels, and is an OB-GYN favorite. Reviewers particularly like how soft and long-lasting it is, and the easy cleanup. The packaging is meant to resemble a cologne bottle for discrete bedside table display, but if we’re trying to destigmatize lube, who really cares if someone sees it! (That was mostly a joke, I understand why discreet packaging would be beneficial.) Though it’s more expensive ($18 for 10.5 oz), it’s got a crazy double use: people in the Amazon reviews are saying that it doubles as an anti-frizz gel for your hair, or can prevent chafing while working out. I also saw someone on Instagram say that they’ve been putting it on their mask to keep it from irritating their face? I have no idea if that actually helps, but it kind of sounds amazing if you ask me.
- Good Clean Love Almost Naked: water-based aloe formula; 4.5/5 stars with over 680 ratings
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If you’re looking for a more natural option, Good Clean Love’s Almost Naked lubricant is a great choice! It’s 95% certified organic, and is petrochemical-, paraben-, and artificial glycerin-free. It does contain small amounts of vegetable glycerin that acts as an antibacterial and supposedly lends a sweet taste (if that’s important in your decision making). Like other water-based lubricants, it’s safe for all condoms and toys, and many reviewers rave over its longevity. However, there are some reviews that say it caused irritation, so it may not be the best option if you have super sensitive skin. Otherwise, the reviews seem to portray it favorably, especially if you’re a more organic leaning person. As a bonus, it’s relatively affordable for a natural option ($11 for 4 oz).
- Sliquid Silk Hybrid Lubricant: silicone/water-based hybrid; 4.4/5 stars with over 480 ratings
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One popular option if you want the benefits of water-based with the longevity of silicone-based is a hybrid formulated lubricant, like Sliquid Silk. It’s safe to use with all condoms, and because it’s a hybrid, it’s safe to use with silicone toys. Sliquid is glycerin- and paraben-free, hypoallergenic, pH neutral, and it’s 100% vegan. Amazon reviewers love how long lasting it is while also having easy cleanup (perk of the water-base!). A hybrid like Sliquid seems to be the best of both worlds. It’s advertised as a non-irritant and many reviewers agree that it’s great for sensitive skin, but there are a couple of reviews saying that it was really irritating. I think, like most products, it really depends on your skin. It’s pretty affordable at $9.90 for 4.2 oz and seems to be a good option if you’re looking for something that mimics both water and silicone products. The company also has a natural option infused with organic botanicals if that’s what you’re into.
- Astroglide O Organic Personal Lubricant and Massage Oil: oil-based; 4.2/5 stars with over 300 ratings
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This oil-based lubricant is made with coconut, argan, almond, sunflower, and jojoba oils (honestly, I hear those words and just think of OGX shampoo) and doubles as a massage oil, which seems pretty cool to me. We love a 2-in-1 (except when talking about 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioners. You deserve better than that). It’s paraben and glycerin free, USDA certified organic, and is supposed to smell really good (it’s infused with essential oils). Reviewers really like its longevity (a hallmark of oil-based lubricants) and soft texture, however, it is on the pricier range as far as Astroglide products go ($14 for 4.2 oz). Reviewers also say it can be hard to clean off toys, but cleanup otherwise isn’t an issue. Remember, this is not compatible with condoms. Do. Not. Use. With. Condoms. I feel like unplanned pregnancy or STD transmission outweighs any pros of an oil-based lubricant, so make sure to only use this if you’ve both been tested and don’t use condoms, or you’re using this individually. This is definitely for a specific demographic, but try it out if it sounds like an option for you!
Hopefully this was helpful for all the DAP-ers out there. Even if you don’t experience vaginal dryness, lubricants are great for everyone to incorporate in the bedroom. The most important takeaway from all of this is that if you’re experiencing any discomfort, whether it be from dryness or not, you need to be communicating that with your partner. Talking about anything involving discomfort during sex can feel taboo, but despite what the media might tell you, sex isn’t always perfect. It’s impossible to have enthusiastic consent when pain is preventing that enthusiasm. Get your hands on some lube, talk to a gynecologist if needed, and you’ll be needing a bucket and a mop in no time.