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Defining a Relationship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UVA chapter.

You meet. You hang out. Then you hang out more. Then comes the weekend, and you better be hanging out by the end of the night…. right? Defining relationship has been confusing  enough, but nothing is as confusing as relationships at UVA.  
Are they dating, are they hooking up, are they…exclusive?  Sadly, no one ever really knows, but one thing makes it official beyond all gossip is the oh so loved “Facebook Relationship Status.” But, as someone who dreads publicly sharing my private life, I don’t think Facebook is the best way to determine what makes a UVA relationship official. So the question is…what is? Open communication from what I’ve seen is the best solution to all the confusion. As cheesy and Dr. Phil of me as it may sound, I’ve come to learn that the longer you wait to speak what is on your mind, the more room you’re creating for things to get messy. It’s hard to meet someone’s expectations when you don’t know what they are. And even worse, failure to voice what makes you upset will leave no fair warning for the other person to avoid doing what upsets you. 
 
The fear of rejection is enough to make any girl quickly zip up her lips, but not saying 
any thing will only make potential rejection in the future even harder. Believe me there is no point in avoiding the inevitable with silence, so just talk about what  
your thinking and chances are the two of you will be on the same page.   
 
So, what’s the point of all of this? Speak up! Make sure the person you secretly want to have a more defined relationship with knows what you’re thinking. The conversation may not go exactly as you plan, but at least it will get you talking. Knowing where each of you stands is the basis of a healthy relationship, and the next step will naturally be to define your expectations. How do you go about bringing up the conversation? Ask the person on an official date if you haven’t had one yet, and talk about it over dinner. The more mature 
setting will encourage mature conversation. Avoid bringing up the conversation at times when you both may not be making the best and most rational decisions. A drunken 
commitment can be just as bad as no commitment at all, so make sure for the right time to  
bring up what’s on your mind. And once you do decide to make it official, if you are 
anything like me, I can assure you, Facebook does not have to be in the official equation. 

Francesca Lee is a fourth year majoring in sociology with a minor in media studies at the University of Virginia. This summer, she developed a passion for TV production after interning at WETA, the public television station for DC and the greater metro area.  Throughout the summer, Francesca researched, wrote and produced several WETA Around Town segments about the local arts programs and graffiti murals in DC.  As the new campus correspondent for Her Campus UVa, she is working to create video content for the UVa branch to supplement the written content.  This spring, she hopes to study abroad in Denmark and expand her knowledge of international broadcasting and advertising. Francesca also gives historical and admissions tours to visitors and prospective students at UVa and is a member of Alpha Chi Omega Sorority.